


36 and Single

by TatsusFineAss



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Boys Kissing, French Kissing, Gay Bar, Gay Sex, Kissing, M/M, Neck Kissing, Oral Sex, Penetration, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Straight Erwin, Top Erwin Smith, first time gay sex, greedy bottom levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 04:31:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21488392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TatsusFineAss/pseuds/TatsusFineAss
Summary: After being dumped by his girlfriend, Erwin gets drunk at a bar (which he didn't realise is a gay bar) ran by Levi. Once Erwin falls asleep as Levi is forced into dragging him to a love hotel, the two spend the night together, only to awaken something hidden deeply within Erwin's mind and body.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 60
Kudos: 248





	1. Chapter 1

The clock above the cabinet of alcohol behind him ticked away, even louder than it usually did on a Saturday night. The small bar which Levi had owned for a number of years, only had around 10 seats, 5 at the counter, 5 at tables, and there were a total of three customers as he stood there shaking a cocktail mixer up in the air. A couple (or at least they looked like a couple) sitting in the corner, chatting away over their third and fourth drink respectively. They were somewhat regulars, as Levi had seen them a couple of times in the past. 

The third customer was sitting at the counter right in front of him. He was on his...eighth...ninth...drink? Levi couldn’t remember. He had come in three hours prior, dressed in a business suit, wearing the saddest and most sour face anyone could ever have. He had been sitting in the same seat, giving his entire life story to Levi, who had no choice but to listen as there were no other customers to talk to.

All Levi had to do was stand behind the bar. He made a few drinks for the other two customers, and washed the glasses that this random dude was glugging down like a mad man. His way of telling his story was full of emotional bias, but from what Levi had gathered, was that he had been dumped by his girlfriend of two years because he was so busy at work he had no time for her and she was tired of the lack of attention. 

‘Makes sense. Why would a girl keep wasting her time with a guy who puts work before anything else?’ Levi had thought. From what he could tell, he was absolutely on the girls side of the argument. 

But no matter which side he was on, this huge dude in front of him was really down about it. With his face buried in his arms, his hand was resting on his glass of whiskey. He had been drinking a mix of drinks the whole night, and was now seeming to fall asleep.

Opening the mixer and pouring the drink into two glasses, Levi walked over to the couple and placed them on the table.

“Um...Master, we didn’t order these,” one of the guys said with an innocent look on his face. 

“It’s fine. They’re on the house. I needed something to do while listening to that guy,” Levi pointed to the man snoozing on the counter. Both guys at the table chuckled. 

“He’s been here a long time. We’ve been listening a little to what he’s saying. He’s really distraught, isn’t he. But if his girlfriend dumped him, why is he in a place like this?” the other man asked. 

Levi shrugged. “Maybe he’s bi.” But that, he highly doubted. This guy didn’t particuarly give off a ‘bi’ vibe, and he seemed oblivious to the fact he was in a gay bar.

Getting back behind the bar, Levi pulled up a stool and sat down, placing his elbows on the counter and his chin in his hands. 

“Oi. You. Don’t fall asleep at the counter.” 

The guy sluggishly sat up, rubbing at his eyes and taking a sleepy sip of his whiskey. 

“S-sorry. I’m not s-sl-” he was speaking in between hiccups, “sleeping.” Downing his drink, he placed his glass down and looked up at Levi. 

What annoyed Levi the most was that this guy was totally his type. He was well over 6 foot, the thick muscles of his body seemed to burst through his tight fitting work shirt, and the loosened tie and open buttons at the top showed off a well formed cleavage with just the right amount of chest hair. That type of build had a 99% chance that this guy had a huge cock, and it had been a hot minute since Levi had last had sex. Being in his late 30s, it was a little harder to find dates where he lived. 

But there was no point in thinking about sleeping with him. He was straight. Everything about him screamed that he only liked women. Based on the picture of the ex girlfriend he had showed, he probably went for girls a lot smaller than him, short and darker hair, cute bright eyes and larger soft breasts. 

“Can I get another whiskey?” 

Levi rubbed at his temples, not moving. 

“Are you sure about that? That’ll be your tenth drink, and you’re pretty drunk right now.”

The guy nodded, pouting a little. Seeing such a big grown man make such a face was weird. 

“I want it…” he said as he unbuttoned another shirt button, revealing more skin, making Levi’s toes curl ever so slightly. 

‘This guy...doesn’t even know where he is...is he doing this on purpose…?’

“You’ll get a pretty bad hangover tomorrow. You’re about the same age as me, right?” Levi was well aware that he couldn’t drink the way he used to in his 20s, as the hangovers were earth shattering.

Rubbing at his eyes, the guy cleared his throat. 

“I’m 36…” his head fell into his hands, “No one else my age is single...they’re all married...I wanted to marry her...who’s going to...date me now…?” He was mumbling into his hands. 

Levi stood up, sighing, taking two fresh glasses from behind him, flicking open a bottle of scotch and poured two out. Handing over one, and sitting back down, he took a sip of his drink and focused his eyes on the chest that was visible with his cheek resting on his wrist. No matter what gender you were, he thought, everyone liked breasts. Even though he was gay, if he saw a woman with a particuarly nice chest, he’d look at it. Same with guys. When men had big, plump, thick chest muscles, it drove him wild. This guy had a great pair. He obviously worked out, making a clear cleavage line visible when he bent down.

“You’re the same age as me, and I’m not married. You need to get a grip of yourself. You’re 36 and crying over some girl who left you? Are you a man or a highschool student?” Levi’s voice was now sounding a little lazy. It was getting close to closing hours, and he had been awake since 6am. Luckily, tomorrow was his day off, and he was planning on sleeping until 8am and spending the day reading. 

“If you’re that sad, take what she told you and turn it into something useful. You spend too much time at work. So, take more time off. Prove to her you’re going to give up some of work to be with her. If she says no, then leave her be and go on dates with other girls. It’s that simple. Don’t waste your time crying at gay bars.” 

The guys head shot up from his glass. 

“Gay bars? I’m not gay.” 

Levi sat back on his stool and folded his arms, a frown forming on his disinterested face. He pointed a thumb at the couple in the corner, to which the other guy turned around to look at. They had their hands in each others, the taller man planting a kiss on the other’s cheek. It looked like they were about to head out. 

The guy in front of him coughed a little and turned back around, his face completely red, his eyes wide open with shock. That was obviously the first time he had ever seen two guys kiss before. 

“This is a gay bar. Didn’t you know that before you came in?”

With a look of confusion on his face, the man raised an eyebrow and scratched the back of his neck. “No...I didn’t know. I just saw this bar and thought it looked quiet. I just wanted to drink and talk to someone about my problems…” 

Levi nodded. That sure did make sense. 

With a hint of curiosity in his blue eyes, the man looked straight at the shorter man in front. 

“Are you gay?”

Levi nodded again. 

“A-ah. I see.”

“Is there a problem?”

Shaking his head in a way that suggested he was offended Levi thought there was a problem, the man began to wave his hand around a little.

“N-No! Not at all! I just...didn’t know this was a gay bar. You’re really good looking, so I just thought you’d have a wife. I’ve been blabbering about my girlfriend issues when I’m sure it’s not a big deal compared to…” he trailed off.

Levi smirked and took another sip of whiskey. The warmth of the alcohol was caressing his throat and giving him a boost of energy. Plus, this guy thought he was good looking, and it gave him a huge ego boost.

“Compared to the discrimination I face? Is that what you want to say?” 

The other man nodded.

“Well, I don’t face many problems. You don’t need to worry. I’m sure losing a girlfriend is just as painful as me losing a boyfriend.” 

“Do you...have a boyfriend now?” 

Levi shook his head. “No, I was dumped just like you a year and a half ago, and I’ve been single ever since. For the same reason you were dumped. Owning a bar takes a lot of work, and he wasn’t interested in me anymore.”

Looking down at his drink, the guy seemed to be lost in thought. The couple came over, arms linked, one of them holding up a bank card between two fingers. Levi got up and helped them pay. Once he got back, the guy had fallen asleep again at the counter.

‘How can he fall asleep so easily?’ 

Poking at the solid back of muscle, Levi angrily tried to wake the man up. 

“Oi! Mr ‘I’m 36 and crying over a break up,’ get up! It’s closing time. You gotta pay.” 

Nothing. This guy was snoring soundly, his head resting on his arm. 

Rolling up his sleeves, Levi ran a hand through his hair before giving the customer a healthy whack to the shoulder. 

Absolutely nothing. 

Sighing and going back behind the bar, Levi calculated how much this guy owed. 

“I’m taking the bill out your wallet now. If you only have a card in there I’ll dunk your head in a bucket of water to wake you up.” 

Levi reached over and looked through the guy’s business bag. Papers...a phone...a charger...a condom…

“Why’ve you got condoms in your business bag? You planning on fucking the janitor?” Levi had no idea why he was cracking jokes. No one was around to hear them.

His fingers got a grip of his wallet. Thankfully, he had money it. Over 300 euros in cash. What kind of guy walked around with that kind of money in notes? 

Removing the exact amount, Levi put the money in the till, the wallet back, and got to closing up. It usually took him thirty minutes. Cleaning the tables, glasses, wiping the floor, and disinfecting the chairs. He counted the cash in the till, checked the alcohol he needed to order, and made a note for the workers that worked the next day of things they needed to do. 

Putting his coat on and placing his phone in his pocket, he took another look at the guy sleeping on the counter. 

It took every ounce of physical strength in his body to lift this guy up onto his shoulders, Grabbing the mans bag in one hand, he carried the sleeping man with one arm wrapped around him. Dragging him out of the bar, Levi let him flop to the ground as he took a breather. He was in no way out of shape, but this guy was huge. It was impossible for him to carry him off somewhere. Locking up, he took a look at him, lying on the floor, still asleep.

‘Should I leave him here? No. I can’t do that. It’s cold out and he might get robbed. But I don’t know where he lives…’ 

Levi’s head clicked. 

He removed some more money from the mans wallet, and got out his phone to call a taxi. He would take this guy to a love hotel, put him there, and then go back home. 

When the taxi arrived, he got the driver to help him lump the guy back in the car. Levi then gave the name of a love hotel he and his ex used to use. The taxi driver seemed a little concerned that the two of these men were going to a love hotel when one was so deeply unconscious, but he drove them both these nonetheless, even helping them both get into the lobby. 

There was no reception desk. Instead, just the usual touch screen list of options. Levi chose a room on the 7th floor, clicked the option of staying until the afternoon the next day, and was given a receipt and a keycard. 

‘Fuck. I bet the security camera will pick up me dragging this fucking guy around like a drugged him. This blows all ass.’ 

Luckily, however, the man, who Levi had figured out was named Erwin by the business cards he had found in his wallet, had gained just a trickle of consciousness to walk with a little help to the elevator. 

“Where…?” he asked, his voice still thick with sleepiness and his body leaning on the smaller mans frame. 

“Don’t worry. I’ve got all your belongings. We’re at a love hotel. I’m gonna put you to bed and then head home, you’ve got until 2pm to leave tomorrow.” The last thing Levi wanted to do was make this guy freak out. 

‘He’s so innocent to gay culture he probably would think I’m about to shove my dick up his ass or something.’ 

To his relief, Erwin happily nodded and took a weak and wobbly step to stand up properly. 

Once they were out of the elevator, the room was just to the left. Sliding the keycard through the door, Levi and Erwin entered the room. It was the usual love hotel room. Huge, large bed, gigantic bath tub, a vending machine full of vibrators and dildos, lube, a basket of three condoms on the side of the bed. 

Erwin immediately flopped down on the bed on his back and wasted no time in falling asleep. Levi got to work in writing a note and placing it on the side table, giving him the lowdown of the money he took from his wallet and the love hotel price. Pouring the man a glass of water and sitting it on the bed header, Levi took a good look of the man on the bed.

He usually didn’t feel so strongly attracted to people, but seeing this guy lay there, his shirt half open, his chest rising with each breath, the outline of his limp dick pressed against his tight work pants...it made Levi’s ass clench. By the looks of it, even though it was completely soft, he could tell it was big. In fact, at 0%, it was bigger than his ex’s when it was at 100% hard. He could only imagine how large it got when this guy was excited. It was probably too big for the regular condoms on the side of the bed. Just the thought of it tearing up as he tried to slide it on, that stupid innocent and dumbfounded look on his face…

Levi liked guys like that. Tall, handsome, bulky, stupid guys. This man probably wasn’t stupid, as he looked to be pretty high up in his company, based on his clothes and the money in his wallet. But he would be clueless if he had sex with Levi. It would be that kind of questioning and confused look that would turn him on the most.

‘If only you weren’t straight…you wouldn’t be asleep right now that’s for sure.’ 

Removing the tie around the guys neck in case he rolled over and choked himself, Levi helped to unbutton the rest of the shirt buttons, as they looked like they were about to pop off. Seeing the the hardened muscles behind the shirt sent a twinge in Levi’s brain, screaming at him to remove the rest of the clothes. 

But he couldn’t. This guy was asleep, drunk, and straight. It wouldn’t be right. 

“Hey. You’re asleep right now. But you should know, don’t ever get this drunk at a gay bar again. You’re way too hot for most guys to resist, and you’ve been unfair to me this whole night.”

Getting up from the bed, Levi fixed his coat, double checked his phone and house keys were in his pockets, and he ran a hand through his hair. 

‘This should be fine. I’ll leave him here now. At least he’s safe.’

What a weird night that had been. But now, Levi wanted nothing more than to go home, get in a piping hot bath, wash up, and cuddle into bed with his book. 

“Bye.”

Taking one last glance around the room, he dimmed the lights and put a hand on the door handle.

It wouldn’t budge. 

Putting more force on it, it was as if the door was locked from the outside. 

Switching the lights back on, he looked at the instructions on the wall next to the door. His eyes glanced around the information before his heart sank into his balls.

“...when you are ready to leave, please pay the fee at the machine to your left. This will open the door for twenty minutes and will send an alarm to the cleaners to come and clean the room.” 

‘Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck! If I leave now, the cleaners are going to come up and kick him out. I can’t leave until he leaves…’ Why didn’t he remember? He had used this love hotel several times. Each time, when the door was locked, you couldn’t leave until you paid. It was easy, and removed the need for a reception desk. Why did that slip his mind?

Levi banged his head against the door, loosening his collar. 

It looked like he’d have to sleep there. Next to that great big guy...


	2. There's a First Time for Everything

Erwin’s eyes slowly cranked themselves open. He looked up at the ceiling, and recognised it as different from his house. Trying to sit up, his head suddenly began to throb, and he immediately grabbed his forehead, wincing. 

‘Ah...the alcohol...I drank too much.’ Looking over at his watch, he pressed the light function on it to check the time.

3.17am.

That was good. He could sleep a lot more. Despite the pain in his head, he did feel incredibly grateful to the bartender. He could remember falling asleep at the counter, and then waking up near the elevator in the hotel. That guy had totally brought him there by himself, and made sure he was safe. Erwin mentally made a note to go back to that bar and thank him. 

Sitting up to take a sip of the water that was on the headboard of the bed, Erwin noticed how he was undressed. His shirt and tie were neatly folded on the chair near the window, and his pants were sitting on top. All that was left were his boxers. 

‘Did that guy undress me too…?’ Erwin thought, sipping at the water. ‘My clothes were pretty tight...what a nice guy.’ 

Laying back down and turning around, Erwin’s eyes widened at the half naked bartender laying next to him. He was curled up in a fetal position, his knees to his chest, his hands resting on the pillow, his body looking freshly cleaned and soft. 

‘Why is he sleeping next to me…?’

Erwin’s hand gently lifted the bed sheets, and looked down to find the mans boxers were still on. 

‘Okay...so we didn’t have sex.’ 

Feeling the heat from the other mans body, Erwin decided to remove the sheets completely. His smaller body was incredibly warm, his hair glistening with dampness. Out of curiosity, Erwin took a few strands of the black hair between his fingers. It was wet, as if the man had just came out of the bath. The fresh smell of soap coming from his body was also indicating that he had washed before heading to bed. 

Looking at the mans body, Erwin realised that he had never really seen another man naked. The small muscles, clear pale skin and pinkish nipples on the man in the bed seemed to be a whole lot different from the women Erwin usually went for. He was used to slim waists and larger, fluffy breasts, full thighs and something wet in between their legs. This guy didn’t have any of that. His frame was small but bulky, the muscles in his stomach and chest resting nicely to create a strong looking body, his chest was large in a different way, his thighs not chubby and grabbable at all, and Erwin knew men couldn’t get wet down there. 

Why did he think they had slept together? Erwin wasn’t gay, so surely sleeping with a man would be impossible. How would he be able to get it up when a man was the one touching him? That would be difficult. This guy didn’t have the type of body he wanted at all...but the look of nipples rising gently with each breath, was rather…

Tantalising? 

With thoughts mixing in his head, Erwin couldn’t help but reach out an inquisitive hand, to lightly stroke the creamy silken skin that was the bartenders chest. It sure was hard, not plump at all. But it was incredibly delicate, and gave Erwin a sudden urge to squeeze it. He obviously couldn’t, or the guy would wake up. His eyes began to glance down around the bartenders naval. Surprisingly, there was no hair, and it lay flat against the muscles underneath. Unlike Erwin’s pretty thick and hairy body, this guy was almost completely hairless. Did he shave…? Erwin thought it would be pretty tiresome shaving his chest hair every week. 

Under the naval was…

The small bulge where his dick was. 

Of course, Erwin had seen a lot of that sort of thing. It was obvious when men put their boxers on, there would be a limp bulge sticking out where their penis sat. With his own member, he sometimes struggled to conceal it, especially with the incredibly tight pants his work made him wear. But this guys dick didn’t seem to be that big. It lay neatly in place, without sliding over onto his leg. 

With one last area Erwin wanted to check before he went back to sleep, he leaned over to take a look at the mans ass. He really had no idea why he was checking these things, if it were just morbid fascination, but he wanted to see what a naked guy looked like. His hand reached over, and he ever so slightly pulled down the mans boxers from the back. Two full, chubby cheeks appeared, as with the rest of his body, completely hairless. It honestly looked like a womans ass, it’s pale complexion and pudgy softness looking so…

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Releasing the boxers rim, making it slap against the bartenders ass, Erwin sat up, surprised the man had awoken at such an...awkward time. 

“G-good evening…”

The smaller man sat up, rubbing at his eyes and glancing over at the alarm clock on the side of the bed. 

“It’s 3.30 in the fucking morning and you’re checking out my ass? Huh? Do you think I’m a girl?” 

Erwin’s hand instinctively reached up to loosen his collar, but then he realised he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He could feel a hot sweat run down his back, and his balls shrivelled up. He was a good talker, but he didn’t think his sweet talk could get himself out of this situation.

“Well...I…” 

‘Think Erwin, think! What to do…’

The bartender sat there, one leg resting against his chest, his deep rooted frown staring at him full throttle.

“I was...confused. Why are you in the bed with me…? I remember you brought me here but…”

“We fucked,” the man said, the casual and unemotional way he spoke mixed well with the aloof kind of face he was pulling.

Erwin’s balls really did shrivel up when he heard that. He began to stutter.

“I’m kidding. We didn’t.” The man pointed to the door, “I can’t leave until you do. We have to pay when we are leaving, then the door will unlock. So I took a bath and fell asleep. I tried to sleep on the sofa, but it was too cold, so I got in the bed. If you’re grossed out, I can move.” 

Sighing in relief, Erwin relaxed his tensing shoulders. 

“R-right. No, it’s not a problem if we both sleep in the bed. Thank you for bringing me here and I’m...really sorry for putting you through the trouble.” 

The other man shifted to sit with his legs crossed. “...and you’re sorry about pulling down my boxers while I was sleeping to look at me ass?”

Bending over and putting both hands down on the bed, bowing down respectively, Erwin placed his forehead on the sheets, apologising profusely. At such a humble action, the bartender looked kind of grossed out.

“O-oi. Don’t be so polite...it’s fine I don’t care, get your head up.” 

Sitting up, Erwin was pouting once again, that stupid look forming on his face. 

“I...I really am sorry...after all you did...I took advantage of you in your sleep…” he looked like he was about to cry. To stop the tears forming, a foot was used to firmly slap his face, snapping him out of his self pitying sorrow.

“Don’t bring on the water works at this time of the morning! I’ve not got the patience.” 

Rubbing at the kicked area of his cheek, Erwin sniffled a few times. 

“I don’t know your name yet,” he said.

“Levi.”

“R-right. I’m -”

“Erwin Smith, right? You’re an executive director of some banking company. You’re 36 years old, recently single, and you’re from up North. Right?” Levi propped the pillows against the headboard and lay against them.

“H-how did you know?”

“Your business card, what you told me last night, and your general appearance. I’ve not seen a guy built like you around these parts. You’re obviously a bit foreign.” 

Erwin nodded, a little embarrassed, scratching the back of his neck. 

“We’re the same age. But we’re very different, aren’t we? I bet you went to some big flashy university and were super popular, right?” Levi’s voice had turned from indifferent to one with a hint of interest. 

Beginning to blush a little, Erwin nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I studied accounting and got into my current company when I graduated. I wouldn’t say I was popular…” Erwin thought back to the many, many, many dates and one night stands he had had throughout university and in his early twenties, “...well, maybe a little.”

Closing his eyes and nodding, Levi yawned. “Sure. I didn’t go to university. I got kicked out of the house at 16, went and worked at a whiskey distillery and finally got my own bar when I was 26. Very different indeed.”

There was a minor silence between the two of them. The clock now was reading 3.42, and both of them were beginning to realise that they were fully awake. 

“Are you gay?” Levi spoke up, the suddenness of the question ripping through the peace that had formed in the room.

Shooting his head up, Erwin fumbled with his reply. “N-no? I’m not...why?”

“Bisexual?”

“Wh-what’s that?” 

Throwing his head back and placing his hand on his forehead, Levi internally groaned at how dumb this guy was. He was totally oblivious.

“It’s when you like both men and women.”

Erwin shook his head. “Um...no. I don’t like me-”

“Then why have you been rock hard since looking at my ass?” Levi interrupted him.

Looking down at his boxers, Erwin saw the large tent forming as his erection stood upright. He was so focused on what Levi had been saying that he hadn’t even noticed his dick crying out. As he stumbled with his hands to push it down and hide it as best he could, he let out an embarrassed and half heartedly reassuring laugh.

“I...y-you know! Morning wood is a real pain sometimes, right?” 

He couldn’t tell who he was trying to reassure with this statement, as he very rarely got morning wood. 

‘Why am I hard…?’ 

Levi at this point was now staring down at the erection that was pushing up in Erwin’s boxers, the usual dispassionate look on his face, with a touch of hunger in his eyes. This guy was really pushing his limit. The thing in his pants appearing not only longer than anything he had ever experienced, but fatter and harder too.

“Who are you trying to convince? No one gets morning wood at 3am.” 

Grabbing a pillow and placing it over his legs, Erwin sighed in relief. Out of sight, out of mind. When he looked back up, Levi had sat himself up on his knees, leaning across the bed and reaching for the pillow, swiftly removing it. 

“Want me to help you get rid of it?” The look in his eye had changed every so slightly to hint at lust forming, his tongue coming out to lick his lips. Leaning back, Erwin’s face flushed red and his hand came up to shake in refusal.

“Wh- get rid of it? Do you know how?” 

That’s right. This guy was so….dumb, Levi thought. He thought Levi was going to give him some tips and tricks on his to get rid of a stiffy. ‘Think of your grandmother,’ or something like that. What a dumbass.

Levi did a blowing and jacking motion with his hand in front of his mouth, using his tongue to push against his cheek, mimicking a blowjob. “I’ll suck you off.” 

With his face now completely red with embarrassment, Erwin’s hand gently pressed against Levi’s forehead, keeping him at a distance, but his hard on grew even more, twitching, and seemingly agreeing with Levi’s suggestion.

“N-No! It’s okay...you don’t need to...I can...I’ll go take care of it in the bathroom…” 

Levi had already shaken Erwin’s hand from his head, and his hands were now reaching for the rim of his boxers, his chest resting against the bed sheets, ass in the air, his head lowering towards the solid erection. 

“You don’t need to take care of it by yourself. I’ve never seen anyone as big as you before, so I want to suck on you. Just close your imagine some girl you like.” 

Pushing the boxers down that covered Erwin’s hard on, Levi’s face was immediately slapped by the heavy flesh that lay beneath. 

Now, feeling faint with embarrassment, Erwin leaned against his hand behind him, his ears getting redder and redder. Seeing the smaller man’s relatively tiny hands both wrap around his cock, with more of it protruding out, enough for Levi’s tongue to run across the tip, Erwin gently cupped the other’s cheek in his hand. 

“You - you don’t need to do this, I -”

Opening his mouth up, Levi encapsulated the others hard on, the hot wetness immediately engulfing Erwin’s already twitching and leaking member. He ran his tongue around as much as he could, before pushing it back into the back of his throat, his neck opening up to cram everything in. 

Erwin could do nothing but wince. He had never been able to experience that level of deepthroat before. His size always made it difficult for girls to fully go down on him, and it was never anything he expected. But there was this guy, completely eating him up. Not only that, but consuming all of him as if he were the most delicious meal he had ever had.

Levi’s lips wrapped tightly around Erwin’s thickness, sucking in every inch, his tongue suckling around as much as he could, the pressure he put around his mouth was just right. With a level of almost professional skill, his throat once again opened up to take in everything, his mouth now pressing against the tufts of blonde pubic hair surrounding the base. 

Feeling so completely consumed, Erwin’s head flung itself back, his eyes closing, mouth opening, to let out a deep groan from the base of his chest while his hand grabbed onto the top of Levi’s hair, running his fingers through the blackness and slowing down his movements. 

“S-slow down...I might…” 

With the sound of a pop and the smacking of lips, Levi released Erwin’s cock from his grasp, the look of total hunger glazing over his eyes. With the abuse he put his throat through, he was rather out of breath, strands of saliva dripping down from his lips. 

“Was it that good you’re gonna bust your load after just a few minutes?” he asked, his wrist coming to wipe the saliva from his chin. 

As his cock greedily pulsed for more, Erwin watched as Levi used his thumb to pull down his own underwear, his smaller but eager erection springing out into the open. Seeing another mans hard on was a first for Erwin, and he was a little shy to look, but the size and shape of Levi’s looked very different from his. It was far smaller, a little more curved upright, but just as stiff. 

Fully removing his underwear, Levi reached behind him for a bottle of lube. Erwin had never actually been in a love hotel before, and he was surprised at how convenient everything was. Sitting there, he watched Levi smother lubricant on two fingers, before bending over, inserting them inside himself. He had only wanted to blow this guy, he wasn’t planning on having sex with him and popping that forbidden cherry of gay sex or whatever. But he couldn’t take much anymore. It had been a long time since he himself had has sex, and the ache in his ass while having this mans hugeness in his mouth was something that needed to be taken care of.

“Wo- what are you doing?” Erwin asked, completely dumbfounded.

Straddling the large man, Levi placed both knees at either side of Erwin’s waist, his small cock pressed up against his chest. It was burning hot. As he continued to stretch himself out, scissoring his fingers open, small grunts and groans left his throat.

“It might be a little tight…” he said, removing his fingers, and squirting more of the lube on Erwin’s needy dick. 

“What will be tight…?” Erwin was so terribly confused. He had no idea what was going on. 

“You’re gonna be too big for the condoms over there, so just give it to me raw, okay? It’ll feel better for you too.”

Condoms!?

Closing his eyes and bracing himself for the feeling of pain as his hole was going to be stretched out, Levi’s fingers blindly lined up his ass with Erwin’s tip from behind. 

Feeling his erection press between the fluffy cheeks of the other man, Erwin finally realised what would happen. His eyes widened, and he began to choke on his words, trying to figure out what to say. To his surprise, he was still as hard as ever, with no hint that he was going to get soft. Surely, putting his dick near another mans ass would make any straight guy go limp, but somehow, he was holding it up. 

“O-oi! What are you doing? It won’t fit up there!” 

“You’re gonna stretch me out a little, so don’t move right away, just relax, I’ll make you feel really good.”

Grinning and slipping just the tip in, Levi eased himself down gradually, bit by bit, feeling his ass become completely filled up, Erwin giving out a weak gasp as the blissful warm constricted around him. Levi could feel his insides spread wider, expanding as the thickness slid up inside him, pushing past his prostate and finally, once every inch had entered, he placed his hands on Erwin’s shoulders, his legs beginning to shake, his dick starting to leak with excitement. 

'It...it went in...guys can really...put something in their asses...? I thought that was just fiction...'

The sweat dripping down his face and the deep breaths he was taking told Erwin that he was causing the other a bit of pain, but the way his cock was trembling against his stomach proved Levi was also feeling an intense amount of pleasure. 

Erwin on the other hand was holding back so much. Although he was still trying to register in his mind what was going on, he was really having sex with another man...his instincts were screaming at him to thrust into the other, to pound as hard as he could. The euphoric squeezing the other’s ass was giving him, gripping on tightly, made his mind kind of melt away. Whether Levi was a man or a woman, the same biological impulse was there.

Taking a deep breath in and wiping the sweat on his forehead with the back of his arm, Levi, holding onto Erwin’s back for support, began to move. He slid upwards just enough before sitting back down, each time crying out as the mans thick hotness pressed against his prostate, his fingers digging into Erwin’s skin. The lube created that erotic squelching sound as Levi slowly but surely began to grind and pleasure himself using the others cock.

“Fuc-shit. Feels like…” he was panting, despite his slow pace, the muscles in his body tensing up, “...like you’re really up in my guts. Why do...straight guys have the...best dicks…?”

Gulping down, Erwin’s hand made its way to pinch at the luscious plumpness of Levi’s ass. He didn’t dare to move or thrust himself, as it seemed Levi was moving at the fastest pace he could handle. Instead, he decided to spread the other man’s cheeks, to make it easier for him to grind against him. Sweat was now running down both of their chests, and Erwin’s stomach was being messed up with precum from the other’s overly excited cock. 

With one hand keeping a good grip of the others ass, Erwin’s right hand found its way to the pink and hardened nipple, giving it a gentle pinch. 

Sighing, his eyes still closed, continuing to focus on both the pain and pleasure of the stretching out of his hole, Levi groaned at the stimulation of his chest.

“You don’t...need to touch there…”

Opening his mouth, licking along the flushed flesh, before latching onto Levi’s nipple, Erwin began to lightly suck and bite. It was different from what he was used to. The skin around was hard with muscles, but it seemed the sensation was the same for Levi. His breathing got heavier, more sweat forming on his forehead, and the rim of his opening clamping down. 

Erwin couldn’t take this slow pace anymore. It was too tantalising. His senses were being turned inside out and he let his aggression snap open in his brain.

Taking a grip of Levi’s ass and pulling him upwards, a saddened yelp came from the smaller mans lips before he was pushed down onto the bed, his legs spread and ankles propped up on Erwin’s shoulders. 

Looking down, Erwin’s eyes feasted on the hot mess beneath him. The sweaty body, the fast breathing causing rises in the milky hard chest, the starvation in the mans grey eyes, his mouth opened as he panted like he had just finished a marathon. He looked pitiful. Levi was waiting on Erwin to enter him, he was at his mercy, patiently watching until Erwin made a move. 

‘This is a guy...you’re having sex with a guy…’ lingered in the back of Erwin’s mind, but the swollen cock between his legs didn’t give him the time to fully think straight.

Aiming himself at the hungry hole below, he pushed himself in, causing Levi’s head to throw back and his fingers to clutch desperately at the bedsheets. Straightening his back and standing on his knees, Erwin’s face was flushed red, his mind melting into the gooey hotness of Levi’s insides, his eyes glazed over with lust, all the while Levi’s arms linked under his knees to ensure he was wide open for the delight he was receiving. 

Levi’s own erection was looking close to bursting, his cheeks blushed pink as he gasped out each time Erwin slammed into his prostate, his hips expertly and frantically grinding inside.

“Dont - don’t squeeze so much...you’re sucking me so tightly I’m gonna-” Erwin was wincing at his warm and mushy Levi’s ass was. 

Wrapping his legs around Erwin’s waist, Levi’s hand grasped at his hard on, beginning to give it a few light hearted and gentle pumps.

“I-I’m cumming soon too…” he said as he arched his back, his groans become deeper and breathing becoming heavier. “Fuck you’re so good...your ex is crazy for giving up a cock like this.” 

Hearing this, Erwin bit his lip, his hips speeding up, aiming as deep as he could. 

“You’re too kind, most of my exes thought it was painful.” 

Tensing up his face, Erwin groaned as he could feel himself about to explode.

“Levi - I ... where should I…?” 

Quickening his strokes to his own dick, Levi spread his legs wide open, his other hand gripping at the sheets.

“I-inside…” 

________________________________________________________________________

The dreadful ring of his phone alarm went off at the usual time of 6.15am. Sitting up in bed, Levi rubbed at his eyes. Walking to his bathroom, he washed his face, brushed his teeth, and fixed his hair. 

Taking the time to carefully prepare his morning tea, he silently did each step the way he always did. Once the tea was ready, he sat himself down in his armchair, placing the piping hot cup down on the desk and flicked open his book. His eyes tried to stick to the pages as best they could, but they would occasionally lose focus and wander to the business card Erwin had given him upon their leave two weeks ago that was resting on top of a literary magazine. 

‘Why do you still have that?’ he thought. ‘Throw it out. What’s the use of calling him?’ 

Taking a sip of tea, his fingers reached out and grabbed it. 

‘Looks fancy. I bet he’s some higher up raking in the cash every month now he’s single.’ 

Or was he single…? 

Maybe he got a girlfriend in the 2 weeks since their encounter. 

A girl who was probably better suited to him, a girl who could probably be experience that lustrous thing up inside…

Taking another sip, Levi placed the card back on the table.

There was no use in calling. Erwin was straight. Having sex with him was just a...moment of weakness. It just happened. Nothing more, nothing less.

He decided after he finished his chapter he’d throw it out. 

But his chapter was only one page away.

‘Okay. After two chapters.’ 

His eyes continued to peer through his book. He picked up from a few paragraphs behind, and continued his story.

‘He sure came a lot when he was with me though...I was scooping it out for a while...does that mean he’s into me…?’

Slamming his book violently shut, Levi stood up, pinching the card off the table and walking over to the trash bin. With one foot, he opened it up, hovering the card above it.

‘It was a one night stand. There’s no point in calling. He doesn’t want you to call anyway. He was just doing it for politeness. A token to remember him by. Like “this is so you can remember how my cock is” kind of thing. Just let go.’ 

The phone rang. 

Turning his head, Levi clicked his tongue.

“Who’s awake at this fucking time?”

Placing the card on the kitchen counter next to the toaster, he closed the bin and slipped himself to the phone. 

“Hello?” 

“Levi?”

‘How...where did this fucker get my number…!?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This is WAY too long and I am not happy with the ending. I kept it open ended incase anyone wanted this to be longer. I was planning on it just being 2 chapters, but I said that about Ego Killer and it's 13 chapters long lol So, if you guys want more, I have a plot idea in mind for this. If not, I'll be working on my Sasuke x Naruto fic :) Let me know what you think! <3 I wonder how many fics I can pump out before I go back home in December...? Probably an embarrassing amount -___-


	3. The Deal is Sealed

Levi wrapped his fingers around the hot tea cup in front of him. Although the cafe he was sitting in was warm and had provided small blankets for customers legs, his body was still feeling the chill he had experienced during the walk from the car. 

Erwin on the other hand looked like he was going into some kind of toxic sweat syndrome. He was overheating. His face and ears were blushed red, his nervous fingers tapping at his coffee cup, and he was unable to make eye contact. 

“Chill out,” Levi said, his expressionless voice not giving Erwin any sense of ease.

“R-right. I’m uh...sorry for calling you so early this morning.” Erwin cleared his throat.

Levi took a sip of his tea, the gentle clack of the cup rattled the situation as he put it back down.

“It’s fine. I was already up. I was actually debating whether or not to call you.”

Erwin’s head shot up, finally making a connection between their eyes, the hint of glee lingering on his smile shone past his anxiety.

“Really? You wanted to call me?”

Levi cleared his throat and coughed, regretting sharing this information. 

“Well. I was thinking about it. I still had your business card, I just hadn’t thrown it out yet. But I didn’t know if there was any point in calling. I’m a man, and you’re straight.”

Erwin looked down at his coffee, before glancing around the cafe. He had wanted to meet Levi, but privately. However, Levi had suggested they go to this coffee shop to talk. Although there were not really any customers at this time in the morning, he was still embarrassed and worried that the staff would hear. 

If truth be told, Erwin had always been shy and stiff with any public display of affection or discussion of personal issues. Something about someone else knowing anything about his personal life and problems and love was...gut wrenching to him. Perhaps, that was also a factor in why women tended to leave him so easily. The lack of time he spent with them, his exhaustion from work was too heavy to make love often, and he was too uncomfortable to hold their hands or kiss them in public. He even refused to tell his family about them. There was absolutely good reason for this discomfort, but it wasn’t something he had the energy or power to delve into, and something he had been avoiding for decades.

“W-well…” Erwin sipped at his coffee. “Do we....have to talk about this here…?”

Levi looked around. There was a girl at the counter engrossed in her phone. She was the one that always served him whenever he went there to get some take out drinks before work. He didn’t have a problem in believing she was absolutely not listening to them, and if she did, she wouldn’t care. She had the same kind of unbothered face as he did.

“Is there a problem with discussing this here?” 

Erwin nodded. 

“What?”

His fingers began to fidget with one another.

“I...I’m not used to talking about this sort of thing in public…”

Levi looked at the girl again. In as loud a voice as was appropriate for 7.30 in the morning, he called out here name.

“Annie?” 

Nothing. She didn’t look up. 

Levi pointed at her with his thumb, and shifted his position, placing his foot on the chair and his knee against his chest.

“She’s got her headphones in. She isn’t listening at all. Anyway, why did you want to meet with me? Did you want a round two?”

Erwin choked on the words Levi had just said. Even if she wasn’t listening, the very fact she was there was freaking him out. At any minute, she could turn her music off, she could look over, analyse their behaviour, and see something weird was going on. 

“I uh…”

Taking another sip of tea, Levi was busy taking in Erwin’s body language and gestures, the way his fingers slid into each other, the way he was always adjusting his sweater collar, the way his gorgeous blue eyes were darting around. He looked like a recluse who had just been forced into the outdoors after ten years of being in his mothers basement. Something was weird about him. 

“Are you questioning yourself?” Levi ventured an ask.

Covering up his mouth to hide some of the embarrassment, Erwin nodded. 

Taking a deep breath in, Levi rested his arm on his knee and took a look out of the window. Snow was beginning to gently flurry down from the sky, and the traffic outside was starting to pile up as people were rushing off to work.

“Let’s see. You’re 36, and your whole life, you’ve never felt attracted to men, never wanted to sleep with one, date one, whatever. Then, suddenly, I come along, and shake that up. You didn’t feel repulsed by sleeping with me and now you’re worried that you might be gay. Is that right?” Levi had certainly had this kind of experience before.

Erwin nodded shyly. 

“I...I just don’t get it. Ever since that time…” his eyes darted to the girl behind the counter again. She was mouthing along to a song, pouring herself a cup of coffee. Sighing, he tried to relax his stiffened shoulders. 

“I’ve never...liked men. I’ve always had a particular type of woman that I’m attracted to.”

Levi nodded. ‘Small, short hair, nicely thick,’ he thought as he remembered the images Erwin showed him of his ex girlfriend.

“But since that time…” Erwin cleared his throat, Levi had the images of ‘that time’ come to mind. That blissful feeling of being so totally filled up, the pure tension between his legs as something so thick entered him. To stop the thoughts consuming him further, Levi looked away from Erwin, instead looking down at his cup.

“...since then, I...couldn’t stop thinking about you. Somehow...although you’re a man…” 

Erwin focused on what he was saying. He could feel a bit of a panic coming on. This sort of openness in public was...really not something he wanted.

“...I’m really attracted to you...and I...don’t get it...I can’t be gay, because you’re the only guy I’ve had this kind of...feeling toward.” 

Levi sighed. 

‘Don’t go telling me you’re attracted to me...having false hope at my age isn’t cute.’ 

“Listen,” Levi spoke up. “I don’t think you’re gay. If you were, you’d probably have had feelings like this towards men way longer than now. Plus, you like predominantly women. However, it doesn’t sound like you’re bisexual either. If you were, you’d still have had an attraction to men before probably.”

Erwin nodded, his eyes opening up and becoming a little more honest looking. “Exactly. That’s why I’m confused. If I were gay or something, I would accept it. But I can’t understand what I am...because it’s just you…” his voice trailed off.

Wincing a little, Levi took another sip of tea. He wasn’t expecting Erwin to be saying this kind of thing. Although Levi had been thinking a lot about the taller man, he hadn’t really thought that this guy might have been doing the same thing.

“Look. This might be controversial, but I don’t think anyone is 100% anything. I like men, but I think, if a girl had the same looks and personality I tend to go for, I could like her. It’s not anything to worry about. It could be you’re just, mainly straight but...you like one guy out of the billions in the world, and it just happens you were lucky to find your exception to the rule.” 

Levi shifted in his chair once again, folding his legs together. He looked directly at Erwin, his somewhat icey glazed eyes and the faint dark circles of his face seeming to strike a chord within the taller man, making him stop blinking to focus on the one in front of him.

“What matters now is what you want to do about that exception. Wouldn’t it be weird for you to suddenly have a boyfriend at the age of 36? Not to make a big deal out of it, but being gay can cause some uncomfortable situations.” 

Closing his eyes, Levi tried to reason with himself.

‘This guy could be trouble. If you get attached, he’ll end up leaving. He doesn’t seem like the type to just abandon everything he’s known for a relationship. Just put him off it, and it’ll be back to normal.’

“I was kicked out when I was 16 for the way that I am. I can’t hold a guys hand without some old fuck complaining, and I can’t openly go about my business without people staring and whispering to themselves.”

Erwin gulped down. He hadn’t really thought about that aspect of being in a gay relationship. In fact, he hadn’t thought about anything more than his attraction and curiosity towards Levi. But hearing these words from the other, he began to slowly understand the great gap between what he was used to, and what he could possibly delve into.

“The thing is,” Levi could feel himself beginning to fidget. To stop himself, he placed both hands on the table, spreading his fingers to keep them still. “You’re exactly my type, and I’ve never been the type to initiate sex, even with my ex boyfriends. But that night I couldn’t help myself, and I’ve been wrecked up about it too these few weeks. If you were gay, I’d be asking you out in an instant, but you’re not, meaning you’re more likely to just fuck off when things become more difficult, and I’m not looking for any friends with benefit type deal or a serious relationship which I can tell will go sour. So I don’t know what you’re looking for here.” 

Feeling his palms become sweaty, Erwin placed them in between his legs, giving them a squeeze. He could feel the conclusion coming soon, and he braced himself for it. He needed to confirm his feelings during this meeting. He needed to know if it was just the alcohol causing him to respond that night, or if there was something more, and sitting in front of Levi there, he could feel that something. The tired, blank look on his face, the subtly feminine way he would move himself, the strong sense of intelligence coming from him, the way his mouth moved when he talked, the soft scent of the soap he used. All of that was coming together, and it made Erwin feel some type of way. The kind of feeling he got when he had a crush on a girl when he was in middle school. 

“I’m looking for...confirmation.” Erwin spoke up.

Levi’s head cocked a little to the side, a questioning expression on his face.

“I...I’m looking for confirmation. I wanted to see if I felt anything aside the kind of…” he looked over at the girl again. She was serving some guy who came in, so he moved forward, causing Levi to lean in, his voice becoming quieter.

“...aside from the kind of...sexual attraction. And I think I do… Sitting talking to you, I feel like…”

He stopped talking as the guy walked past, leaving the cafe with his take out hot chocolate.

“...I feel like, I could easily...slip into something.”

“Slip into something?” Levi repeated. ‘This guy talks like a dumbass. What is he even saying?’

“...into, you know.”

Levi blinked.

“...into liking you more. Into, you know…” He adjusted his collar once again. “...Into wanting to get to know you, and see you more often.” 

Levi’s eyes opened a little wider as he felt himself get a flutter of blush on his face.

‘What is he saying... ? Into liking me?! Are we kids?’

“When I talked to you that night, in the bar, you put me at such ease that I couldn’t help but feel like being dumped wasn’t that big of a deal. Ever since that night, I haven’t felt sad about my break up either, just an ache in my chest hoping for you to call and ask to meet me again. It got so bad that I ended up searching for your bars number to contact you. Even now, just sitting here, it’s the first time I’ve had a conversation with someone in years without slipping into daydreaming or wondering about other things. I can’t help but want to pay attention to you.”

Sitting back, Levi opened his mouth. He was about to tell Erwin to fuck off. ‘You’re straight,’ he wanted to say. ‘This won’t work out. It was a one night stand, and this kind of thing is impossible.’ 

But the words didn’t come out. In the heat of the moment, Levi’s heart took a hold of the steering wheel, taking control of his tongue, throwing his mind and sense of logic right out of the window. In that moment, he was back to being 16, his emotions taking full control. It wasn’t long after, that he was agreeing with Erwin, asking him to become his partner, asking him to confirm one last time that he really did like him.

________________________________________________________________________

Panting, Levi’s mouth was agape as he swung his ass up, his knees and chest pressed against the bedsheets, his hands being held in place by Erwin’s strong grip.

“Please...don’t stop…”

With his free hand, Erwin wiped the sweat away from his forehead. His mind was blank, his chest pounding as if it were his first time. He needed to take a break, or else he’d be exploding any moment. 

“Hey now, if you beg like that,” he slapped his rock hard cock onto the trembling pink hole beneath him, “I might come too soon.” 

Levi bit the pillow under him, his face completely red. He was coming to his senses now, that he was delving into troublesome territory, but he didn’t care anymore. He was fucking himself over with this stupid decision, to date a straight guy, but somehow he couldn’t help it. 

Feeling Erwin’s tip run down his ass towards his hole, he opened up and sucked him in, causing the taller man to slip right inside, his swollen thickness hitting right on this good spots. 

“Yeah but you fill me up so good...just don’t stop…” 

Breathing heavily, sweat dripping from his forehead, Levi began to move his hips, sliding himself up and along the length inside of him, the sounds of the other mans moans and sighs telling him he was really trying not to burst.

“M-more...it’s okay if you come...just fuck me, please…” Levi couldn’t take it anymore. He was so close to coming himself. “Fuck me with that big thing of yours...it makes me such a mess…”

What was he saying? Saying such things would only cause him to grow more...insanely attracted to Erwin? Why was he doing this?

Erwin began to thrust, one hand grabbing onto Levi’s ass, the other, bending down and gently jacking Levi’s own dick. 

With his legs shaking, Levi could feel his release coming. The feeling in his ass of being so crammed, he couldn’t take it. 

“Sh-shit! It’s coming...do it harder...don’t...fu- don’t stop!”  
With one last high pitched cry into the pillow, his body became stuck, completely paralysed in pleasure, and the cum almost pissed out of him, white strands of his orgasm dribbling out onto the bedsheets as Erwin pulsed inside of him as he injected his own pleasure into the melty gooey hole beneath.

_____________________________________________________

Sitting back onto the wide, hairy chest behind him, Levi let out a sigh as they sat in the bathtub. The steam from the water was clouding up the whole room, and the smell of the sweet scented bubble bath wafted through the air. Erwin wrapped both arms around the other, pulling him in tightly and holding him in place. A childish blush formed on his cheeks. That hot, fuzzy feeling of being covered, protected and held was not something he was used to feeling. It was a weird kind of sensation. 

“So...we’re official then, right?” Erwin asked, the deep croak in his voice echoed and bounced off the bathroom tiles.

Cupping some of the bubble bath in his hands, Levi nodded, staring down at the glistening white foam between his fingers.

“Yeah. We are.” Levi let go of the bubbles and turned around slightly, leaning his shoulder onto the chest behind him. His wet hands ran up and brushed the hair from Erwin’s face, taking a good look of his face. 

“But I need you to tell me if it isn’t working for you. I don’t want to be strung along.” 

Placing a hand on Levi’s head, giving it a gentle rub, Erwin sighed and smiled, sinking deeper into the bath water. “Oi oi...why are you so concerned? I told you I like you, right? I’m not going to wake up one day and feel differently. I just hope I can be enough.” 

Closing his eyes and resting his head on Erwin’s collar ones, Levi’s logic was beginning to take control once again. 

‘This is going to be a bother… I like him so much even at this early stage...this is going to be a painful one when it’s over.’ 

He let himself sink into the taller man’s arms. 

‘But I could get used to being held like this…’

Erwin’s thumb gently rubbed small circles into his back as his arms stretched around him.

‘I really hope this doesn’t cause any trouble…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I finally found a plot to run with. It's going to get pretty deep into Erwin and Levi's past, as well as their families, insecurities, and anxieties. I hope I can do this kind of story justice. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it! Expect another chapter soon in the next week or so. This one will be quite a long fic I'm guessing. <3 Leave a little comment if you have any suggestions or recommendations!


	4. Levi's Lie

While he set the table for whatever dinner Levi wanted, Erwin was lost in thought. That month of July marked their seven month anniversary. It was only 7 months, but it was up there in one of the longest relationships Erwin had ever had. Aside from his most recent break up with his ex girlfriend, he had always struggled to keep a girlfriend for longer than a few months. His luck of picking up women was great, and he’d bounce right back with another, but she would soon leave. 

That wasn’t to say him and Levi were the most compatible. Levi could be distant himself, emotionally cold, so sickeningly logical that he hardly took into consideration Erwin’s real human emotions. He also got mad at every little thing, especially Erwin’s lack of ability to hold hands or kiss in public. Levi thought of it as some kind of anti-homosexual bias Erwin had, but in reality, it was nothing of the sort. It was just...he simply could not do it. With anyone, and he lived in a hot fear that Levi would leave him for the same reason all the others had left him.

But they remained together. They bickered like an old married couple, went on dates, made love, and were planning on a trip together the following week. For the first time in ten years, Erwin was taking time off work to go on a vacation. All his coworkers were shocked, and teased that perhaps he would be getting married to some lucky woman soon. But of course he couldn’t tell them. Although they seemed to stir each other up and argue, Erwin always felt such a great deal of comfort being with the other. They got on just fine most of the time and would have the most intense conversations, during which Erwin felt so thoroughly listened to. They spent time at each others houses at the weekend, would eat dinner, and simply spend the same time together, occupying the same space. Levi would read, Erwin would write, the two of them shoulder to shoulder, with no words between them, but a mutual understanding that simply being was a blissful peace.

The doorbell rang. 

Opening the door, he gave his usual goofy smile, expecting the aloof greeting he was used to from his lover. But instead, he was met with a heavy weight to his chest as Levi buried his head into him. Looking down onto the top of his head, Erwin placed both hands on the others shoulders, giving them a warm embracing rub.

“O-oh, Levi. Are you okay?” 

Levi responded by inching closer, pressing his body up against him, his arms sliding up his sweater and holding onto his back, his forehead trying to bury further into Erwin’s chest.

“Ah...you had a bad day, right?” 

Levi didn’t reply. 

“You want picked up, right?” 

Removing his arms from Erwin’s back, Levi stretched up and placed them around his lovers shoulders, indicating that’s what he wanted. 

“Okay, okay,” Erwin whispered, picking Levi easily up from his waist and prompting him into him. Latching onto the taller man, Levi wrapped his legs and arms around the other, attaching himself there, sitting comfortably. 

Levi had only done this twice before. It was very out of character, but it was how he delt with his problems. He wouldn’t talk, but instead clung to Erwin, followed him around, bundled up next to him, and needed only head rubs and pats on the back. Erwin had never seen a guy his age need that kind of attention when they were feeling down, but the dissonant way he behaved was rather cute and endearing. 

Closing the door, Erwin walked through to the living area of his apartment, carrying Levi on his chest as his head nuzzled into the others neck. Sitting down on the couch, Erwin began to gently pat the other’s head. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” 

He felt Levi’s legs wrap tighter around him.

“I’m sure you had a very stressful day. It’s okay.” Running a hand through the others hair, Erwin planted a few soft kisses on the small ears there were poking through. 

“But we need to eat dinner, and plan our vacation next week, right? We can’t do that with you stuck to me.”

He heard a mumble in his neck. 

“Huh?”

Shifting his head a little to be more audible, Levi grumbled; “Yes we can.” 

Chuckling, Erwin’s hands began to pat and rub on the other’s back. He imagined this kind of feeling was like having a baby, tapping away at their body to get them to sleep. This childish way Levi delt with his emotions was incredibly charming. 

“How can I cook with you on my chest? How will you eat?” 

Levi’s fingers were gripping onto the back of Erwin’s hair, tugging in a way that begged for them to stay like that a little longer.

“You’ll feed me.” 

“I’ll feed you!?” Erwin laughed, squeezing Levi tighter. “You’re feeling really clingy today, aren’t you?” 

Gently cupping Levi’s face in his hand, Erwin moved him so he could see his face. 

Placing a kiss on the flushed red cheeks, Erwin’s fingers adoringly pinched at them. This guy in his hands...was so cute. He sure was a weird one. Going from one unemotional extreme to this babyish demanding of affection, his grumpiness was captivating.

“Come on Levi, you’re too handsome to make such a sad face. Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Erwin smiled as he continued to gently pull and squeeze the others cheeks.

Levi didn’t reply, instead deciding to place his forehead on Erwin’s, closing his eyes. 

“Was it work?”

Levi nodded.

“Stressful day? Things kept going wrong?”

Another nod.

‘Jeez...how are we going to plan our vacation…?’

_________________________________________________________________________

After dinner, as Levi was in the kitchen, cleaning up. He was surprised at how well Erwin dealt with his childish meltdowns. In previous relationships he was used to be ignored and told to get over whatever was bothering him. One of his ex boyfriends even dumped him as soon as Levi had displayed his usual tantrum behaviour. But it wasn’t his fault, or so he thought. That was just the way he reacted to bad days, bad news, and bad moods, and that day in particular was always a tender time of the year. 

‘You should tell him what’s really bothering you...what is he going to do?’ Levi thought to himself as his fingers slipped inside a glass with the towel, giving it a thorough rub down. His years of bar tending made him pretty swift at cleaning and drying glasses perfectly.

‘He might dump you for lying to him, that’s what. Up until now he’s believe you were kicked out at age 16. You told him the whole back story. No point in digging it all up again to tell him the tru-’ 

Levi’s thoughts were cut off as he felt two arms wrap around him from behind, Erin’s large hands running up the front of his shirt and resting on his rib cage. 

“You look very lost in thought tonight. Something’s bothering you, isn’t it?” 

Levi placed the glass down on the rack and picked up another to dry. His gaze didn’t leave his hands.

“No, not anymore so than usual. I’m just thinking about next week.” 

He felt Erwin’s hands tighten into a stronger hug as he planted a kiss on the top of his head.

“That’s right. It’s my first time ever going on vacation with someone.” 

Levi’s eyebrows squinted and his mouth curled into a cynical smirk.

“You can’t be serious. You’ve never gone on vacation with anyone ever?” 

Erwin noticed the face Levi was making from his reflection in the window, and he nodded.

“I’m telling the truth! I’ve not had a vacation in years. I went on a business trip once but that wasn’t relaxing at all, it was just work but away from the desk. When I asked my boss for a week off he thought I was taking the piss.” 

Levi knew Erwin was telling the truth. He didn’t seem to be a deceptive person, not like he was. Letting his head fall back on the thick hard chest behind him, he stared up at his boyfriends face, not blinking once.

‘I really got lucky with this guy…’ he thought. Not only did Erwin possess the muscular frame he liked, he was also incredibly good looking. He had pretty strong and striking features which may have been put offish for some who prefered subtle looks, but Levi thought he was the best looking guy he had laid eyes on. He was also uncommonly kind and level headed. He never fueled Levi’s bad moods, and instead, could put them out quicker than anyone else could. 

‘I wonder what I do for this guy…’ 

“L-Levi...your staring is really intense,” Erwin blushed. He felt like Levi was burning a hole through him. 

Once the dishes were finished, the two of them opted to just cuddle up on the sofa, watching some kind of documentary Levi wanted to watch. With Erwin laying down on his back, Levi rested his weight on his lovers chest, his arms holding onto either side. Feeling the rise and fall with each breath Erwin took, Levi couldn’t help but look up at the totally oblivious man who was more engrossed in the documentary than he was. 

Matching his breath with Erwin’s, he timed each inhale with the rise of the warm chest below him, his eyes fixated on the other’s face.

‘He holds me in such a nice way,’ he thought to himself. ‘It’s not overly affection, but it’s enough.’ Levi’s face began to redden slightly with a faint blush. Erwin held him in a way that he could really get used to. Being cuddled like that was something new to him, and something that he wished he could cling onto for as long as possible. But he knew that keeping secrets and telling lies to the other wouldn’t make him stay. No, Levi had to be absolutely truthful if we wanted this kind of thing to work out.

“Erwin.”

Turning his head to the side to look down at Levi, Erwin placed his hand from his lovers back to the top of his head.

“Mn?”

Levi took a deep breath.

“It’s my sisters birthday today.”

Shifting his body to sit up a little, Erwin’s arms softly wrapped around the other.

“Your sister?”

Nodding, Levi faced away, resting on his side against Erwin’s stomach.

“Yes. She’ll be 26.” 

Erwin nodded, smiling and giving a gentle rub on Levi’s head.

“You told me a little about her. She was six when you were kick-”

“I wasn’t kicked out.” 

There was a brief silence in between then, the sound of the documentary continuing to play next to them. For a hot minute, Levi imagined his boyfriend getting mad at him, demanding he explain himself, and he lay there on his chest, waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

“You weren’t? So what happened?” Erwin’s voice was calm. Not calm...rather, it was the same as before. Conversational. Relaxed. It had no hint of being bothered or confused. 

Raising his head up. Levi’s eyes looked somehow more tired than usual, the dark circles under his gaze seeming a little heavier on his face. He looked up at Erwin, who was comfortably staring back, his eyes blinking a few times as he waited on an answer.

“I...I left.”

“You ran away?” 

Levi nodded.

“Me and my dad have a weird kind of relationship, and mum was gone. I didn’t want to stay there, and I didn’t want them to find out I was gay, that would’ve caused so many problems. So I ran away when I was 16 and haven’t spoken to them since.” 

Erwin’s eyes widened at the story. He sat himself up, pulling Levi into sitting on his lap as he did so. His eyes and mouth wrinkled into a look of concern as his brain was picking apart what Levi had said. 

“So...you don’t even know if they are okay? You don’t know if you’re dad is still alive, they don’t know if you’re still alive, they’ve never tried to reach out to you and you’ve not contacted them Levi? In over twenty years?” 

Levi closed his eyes and gently rubbed at the tired circles beneath. He nodded. He didn’t feel shame, he didn’t feel pride. He simply felt nothing when it came to his family. He had abandoned them, as they had with him when he was 16. He said goodbye to his sister as she slept and simply grabbed his bag and left. Nothing was said or done. It was a completely wordless exchange which spoke a thousand words of unlove. He had moved far, far away, never contacting them, and they never contacted him. He had figured his sister would have tried to contact him when she got older, trying to reach out to her older brother, but nothing. Twenty years had been and gone. Levi owned a business, had done some travelling, had been in a few serious relationships, all of which his family knew nothing about. 

But there was always a lingering thought in his mind. On his sisters birthday, every year, he wondered if that was going to be the time she’d try to find him. Would she find him on social media? Would she turn up to the city he had always spoken about moving to when she was a kid and just go feral trying to find him? He wanted that to happen. He wanted to see her. To see how she’d grown up. In his mind, time sure was chained still, her six year old smile, the way she’d scold her older brother for bullying her and bothering her, as older brothers did. He wanted to see how that had changed. What her job was, the kind of principles she stood by, the things she thought about. He needed to know that. But pride,stubbornness, and a severe hatred for his father stopped him from doing that. Fear crippled him from going back to his childhood home.

‘What if they slither their way into my life and pull me in so deeply that I can’t get out. What if it reverses everything I’ve worked hard to create.’ 

“Levi…” Erwin scratched the back of his neck. “I...I don’t know everything about you or your past, or anything about your family. But…” Erwin trailed off. He wasn’t entirely sure what he should be saying in this type of situation. His own parents had passed away when he was in university, and he had no siblings. He wasn’t connected to his extended family either, so what did he know about this sort of thing? 

“If you think about your sister a lot...perhaps it better to contact her? It’s obviously had an affect on you.” 

Reaching a hand to gently cup Levi’s face, Erwin’s thumb gave a few soft strokes on the silky skin beneath. 

“But you’re not forced to. Just do what you think is best, and if you need someone to go with you, you know I’ll be here ready for you.” 

Sighing a deep sigh, both in relief and contemplation, Levi bent his head down, resting his forehead on his boyfriends shoulder.

“You’re not mad or anything? That I lied about being kicked out?” 

Erwin laughed, patting Levi on the back and giving a soft kiss to his ear.

“No, not at all. I’ve no place being mad. You can tell me things in your own time, when you feel like it.”

With a hint of a smile on his face, Levi rubbed his head on Erwin’s shoulder, an indication he wanted his head rubbed, which his boyfriend quickly got to doing. He couldn’t help but wonder exactly how he was so lucky. Erwin wasn’t one to get mad easily, and it amazed Levi at how frequently they got into situations where Erwin could take something and use it to get angry, but that never seemed to happen. 

When it was getting late, the two of them did as they normally did on Friday evenings. They took a bath and went off to bed, where they made love as passionately as they could. But this night was particularly an emotional one for Levi, making Erwin take extra care and be especially tender with his sensitive lover. 

He took care in kissing up and around Levi’s neck as his hands rubbed at pulled at the glorious pink nipples beneath him, before his fingers slipped down, stroking the delicate skin of his inner thighs. Whenever Erwin touched Levi there, he got an especially good reaction - Levi’s legs would always begin to shake, his erection pressing upwards against his pants and making them ever so wet with precum.

Once he had made his lover tremble, he began the process of preparing the special place he would be slipping inside. His fingers, of course completely lubed up, would enter, stretching out the hole, burying need inside, knuckles deep, as played around - the squelching sound of lubricant mixing with the deep sighs and groans from his boyfriend. 

It was only then, after patiently letting his lover bully him, that Levi would spread his legs open, his toes curling in anticipation, begging to me filled up. That night, being one he so deeply hated each and every year, for a fraction of time, his mind was no longer filled with the worries and regrets to do with his family, and instead, was to the brim of pleasure. That pure feeling of ecstacy with each thrust inside of him, so much that he couldn’t get enough of it. 

Finally, at his limit, with one last push inside, he would open up, his legs wrapping around the other’s thick and sweating back, his orgasm spilling out onto his stomach, and Erwin, who had been holding back for some time, was able to release his own. 

Both men wouldn’t really admit it, but they needed each other so much. At that awkward time of being in their late 30s, they both needed the security and affection the other gave them. Levi, was more inclined to needing reassurance, though this was not obvious to Erwin. 

Erwin on the other hand, was holding onto so much more than a need for acceptance. No, he was gripping onto something a lot harder to come to terms with. With his new, totally out of his comfort zone relationship, the constant jabbing that his coworkers were giving him for it, and the stress from his boss giving him slack for taking time off, Erwin could sense that any one tiny thing could send his control and stability completely flying. And that something sure was about to pop into his life, any time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This took a bit longer for me to pump out because it was Black Friday and stuff so i had so much shit to go buy before I head back home for Christmas. After three and a half years of travelling and writing porn I'm going back home to look after my nephew, so I was mega busy getting my shit together this week.
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoy it :) It was hard writing Levi so OOC, and I'm kinda thinking I needed a chapter in between this and the last one to really...idk? explain things? But either way, I hope you enjoy it ^^ 
> 
> I'll be writing the next chapter tomorrow as I'll most likely be stuck in bed :)


	5. Erwin's Confusion

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Spray.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Spray.

The sound of the wall clock’s arms clicking away, the occasional puff of the humidifier split up the silences between each second. Erwin could do nothing but quietly sit at his desk, listening to those comforting sounds. 

His desk was situated just in front of the window, the sunlight filtering through the blinds, the dust in the air dancing around the specs of light pouring forth. On his desk was the work that had been piling up and up and up over the last few months, his phone sitting ominously next to his hand.

Erwin was staring down at the letter that had arrived in the mail that morning. He hadn’t had time to read any mail when he had gotten up, so he packed them into his bag and took them to work. When he finally got to work, he sifted through the three fast food menus, electricity bill and a letter from his dentist, and went right into reading the letter which appeared to be handwritten, the stamp coming from back in his hometown. 

It was a letter from his childhood best friend. 

Neither of them were on social media, and his friend had no intention of using emails. Instead, they would write deeply personal and hand made letters to one another a few times a year. They would send little trinkets and things they had kept for the other. It was almost like a penpal, but without the cultural exchange. 

Inside the envelope, he received a few pictures drawn by his friends two younger kids, a pressed flower that her children had chosen from their garden, and a few candies, obviously put there by the kids as well. 

The letter contained the usual things; updates on her life, how her kids were doing, how it was difficult to raise two 5 year olds on her own, and so on. Erwin’s friend, Hanji, owned her own clinic back in their hometown. When her husband passed away a few months after she gave birth to twins, she had to handle the entire business and family by herself. But she was an incredible woman, who could handle anything. Still, she liked to complain and moan about it in her letters to Erwin. 

The letter was a healthy five page spread, front to back, in Hanji’s tiny handwriting. On the last page, there were two handprints made from paint, from her children. Erwin had met them when they were just three, and somehow, they seemed to be very enthusiastic about helping with the letter writing process.

The last paragraph of Hanji’s letter though, struck such a strong cord in Erwin’s chest, that he had to put everything down and take a break from doing anything for a while. She had asked that fateful question most people asked him, especially when they realised he was 36. 

“...how are things with your girlfriend? I hope you two haven’t broken up since last time you wrote to me! You’re 37 soon and you’re getting on. That window of marriage and kids is closing in on you, so you should make a move soon. Let me know how things are going, and I hope your next letter comes with a wedding invite.” 

Sitting back in his chair, Erwin released a deep, grunty sigh. He took a good look around his office. Being one of the higher ups, he had the whole space to himself, and had been working in that very room for 7 full years. The hard oak flooring, the polished glazed oak bookshelves, green leather chair, the several plants lined up on a shelf, the large framed desk he sat at. All of those, he had become so accustomed to, they were so ingrained in his daily life, that he felt a separation from them would make him an incomplete man. This had been his job since he had graduated from university. It was the job that had cost him several relationships, the one he had never taken a day off from in over ten years, the job that he was practically married to. 

‘But for what?’ he began to think.

Why was it that he was so adamant to keep this job? He should’ve just taken days off when his ex girlfriends had asked. He should have asked his boss to reduce his hours when it was becoming too exhausting for him to spend time with or make love with his exes. He should’ve taken more time off to go visit his hometown and see Hanji and her kids. He should’ve at least gone to visit them twice a year. He had a car. It would only take five or so hours to drive up there. Why didn’t he? Why was he so…stuck? Was it because there was nothing better to do? Was he just addicted to work? Was it his lack of guidance and goals in life? Or was it...his incessant need to please others and take on whatever they told him to do? 

But the biggest question in his mind, was why was he suddenly thinking these things now? What was the purpose of these treacherous thoughts? 

‘Hanji’s right,’ his mental voice was saying. ‘You’ve only got...a few more years to have kids. That gap sure is closing fast, and if you don’t make a move soon you won’t have any kids at all.’ 

But how was he meant to have children? He couldn’t have any kids with Levi. Levi didn’t have the body to do that sort of thing. 

‘And marriage...can we even get married? Would Levi even want to get married…? Is it legal here…? Am I even ready for marriage…?

He rubbed at his eyes, taking a sip of the coffee that was going cold. 

‘How would Hanji react to me if I said I was getting married to a man? How would my company react? My coworkers? What would happen with that?’ 

Just the thought of having a public wedding freaked Erwin out. A wedding ceremony with his friends and coworkers, seeing him hold hands, kiss, announce his vows… how dirty… that level of public display of affection was...too much to handle. 

Before he got a chance to think about how short his window of opportunity was at starting a family, the office phone rang, making him jump.

It was his boss. He was to go up to his office immediately.

This could only be bad news…

_________________________________________________________________________

A pile of papers were slapped onto the desk in front of him, Erwin’s glazed over look in his eyes weren’t focusing on what was happening. He had learnt from previous experience to simply clock out when something bad was going on around him. All he had to do was stare ahead, nod, agree, let his mind fade away somewhere else, and whatever issue was being presented would go away. That was how he managed every argument, every row, every fight, every controversy, and for the first time in his life, it was how he was going to handle a disciplinary meeting with his boss.

“You’re productivity is down 43% Erwin, from last month alone. What’s gotten into you? Ever since the start of this year you’ve not only been going down hill, you reached the bottom of the hill and now you’re digging yourself a hole to climb into.” 

“Yes sir,” Erwin said, not really taking in what his boss was saying. He heard the words, he knew what they all meant, but he wasn’t willing to piece the parts together to make sense of them. 

Sitting down in his office chair, his boss folded his arms and stared right at his employee, his fingers tapping the side of his arm. 

“Not only that, you’ve been late to work three times this year, which you’ve never done. Not to mention you’re taking a week off in one of the busiest months for us. What’s going on Erwin?” 

“Nothing sir,” Erwin said confidently, his mind crumpling inside itself, hiding away from what his boss was saying. 

His boss sighed. 

“Erwin, you and I both know something is going on. You’ve never been the type to take days off, be late, or produce mediocre work. That’s why I promoted you to the place you are today.”

“Nothing is going on sir.”

Erwin’s boss looked at him up and down, his eyes glancing around the large, nervous frame of the man in front of him.

“Are you getting married or something? You’re taking time off I assume to go and see your girlfriends family or something like that, right?” 

The very question made Erwin’s hands sweat, and the rush of blood to his head brought him back to consciousness. He was now fully present. 

“I, um…” 

His boss’s eyebrows raised slightly.

“So you are getting married?”

Loosening the collar on his shirt, Erwin gulped.

‘Why’s he want to know…?’

“I, well...I’m considering it...a lot is happening with me at the moment...I…” 

Erwin could feel the sweat dripping down his forehead. Why was his boss asking about this? He’d never spoken so personally before with him. The hair on his arms and backs of his hands were raised, his eyes darting to avoid eye contact from the man in front of him. Suddenly, the walls were beginning to drip, melting away, the room slowly but gradually closing in, an alarm was going off. His boss was talking, his mouth moving, but all Erwin could hear was the thoroughly loud heart beat in his chest, the panic as everything seemed to be getting closer and closer...

“Erwin? Erwin!?” 

The snapping of his boss’s fingers brought Erwin back into reality. 

“Jesus Christ Erwin, what’s gotten into you? Will you answer my question already?”

“Wh-what was the question sir?” 

Slapping his forehead, his boss rubbed at his temples, the look of complete distain being painted on his expression.

“If you are getting married and need time off to plan it, do it, and get the honeymoon over, I can give you time off. You’ve accumulated a lot of paid leave throughout your years. We don’t really stack unused vacation days, but you’ve worked here so long I’d feel bad for not giving you them. If you want time off, just ask. Only if you promise you will get back to your usual performance after all that bullshit is over.”

‘Time off…?’

Erwin choked slightly on his words, coughed, and loosened his tie around his neck. For such a big guy, he sure was terrified of these kinds of talks.

“Um, sir. I’m...not sure if I’ll be getting married soon. I’m still...trying to figure that out.”

“And that’s what’s causing you to produce these results?” His boss pointed at the papers on the table. 

Erwin nodded. 

“Yes sir. I’m…” he thought about the comments left by Hanji, the whole gap closing, the little tiny cute hand prints pressed against her letter, the ache in his heart, the image of Levi and himself at an alter. 

“...I’m going through the wringer right now. I’m still figuring it out.” 

His boss nodded, clearing his throat, blinking.

“Right. It’s personal stuff, right? I get it.” He leaned closer, putting both elbows on his desk. “If you need time off for that, you can take it. I just want you to get back to the usual you. I can’t allow you to work this poorly any longer.”

Erwin nodded.

“I’m...I’m on vacation after tonight, sir. Once I’m back, I promise I’ll get back to my regular work.” 

When the meeting with his boss was finished, he dragged his sorry ass back up to his office, where he poured himself another coffee and sat down at the desk. The pile of work he had been unable to complete lay dormant on his desk. Ever since he had started his relationship with Levi, he had been more tired than usual. His daydreaming had become more frequent, his texting throughout the day to his boyfriend had also been becoming more and more regular, as well as the strain it put on his body. He wasn’t used to having sex every weekend. Not just once, or twice, sometimes more, and the emotional pull that sex had brought out every drop of his energy, through his moans, his sweat, and the nail and bite marks Levi left on his skin. Not to mention the pure embarrassment he felt whenever one of his coworkers saw a love bite or two on his neck and joked about it. The whole situation was...so uncomfortable. 

For the rest of the day, Erwin was fairly useless. The letter from Hanji had left quite a strong imprint on his mind. 

‘I’m the last one in my family...no parents...no brothers or sisters...if I don’t have kids...my lineage will be lost. Forever. All because of me.’ 

He clicked on his phone, the time showing up as 4.34pm. His background was a picture he had secretly snapped of Levi, as he sat bundled up in a chair, reading. Levi never let Erwin take pictures of them, and Erwin himself was too shy and awkward to ask of one. So, instead, he took a picture without him knowing. Seeing the way his boyfriend looked to engrossed in his books, the cosy way he brought his knees up to his chest as he read, the comfort it brought him sure was an unusual sense, but it made Erwin happy. 

‘What are we doing…? Is this real? Are we really dating?’ 

‘Aren’t I straight…? Why am I with a man…?’ 

‘Does Levi want to be with me...or is he just playing around…?’

Erwin couldn’t concentrate. He was sweating, his body was hurting, and all he wanted was to run out the office, remove all the tightly fitted clothes, and fuck right off somewhere he could be alone. At least, alone with Levi.

His phone buzzed.

“What time do you finish?” It was from Levi, of course.

Instinctively, Erwin wrote out “9pm,” which is when he had always finished work. That was, of course, until he had met Levi. He had been leaving his work whenever he felt done. 

“I’ll be finishing at 5.30 tonight. Are you packed?” 

Levi sent the thumbs up sticker. 

‘That’s right...tonight we’re beginning our vacation.’

Erwin was going on a vacation...for the first time. It wasn’t something that seemed too out of the ordinary for some, but for him, it was a big deal. It wasn’t really something he had put a lot of thought into at the time as well, it was something he just wanted to do and went along with it. Levi had wanted to go up to a natural hot spring for some time, and one thing led to another, Erwin was taking time off and they were planning a four day vacation. 

‘This is your last chance...to really go and build the life you wanted, Erwin. Aren’t you just playing around with Levi...isn’t this just...something casual? What’s the use of wasting time when he will break up with you in a few years...and you’ve missed your chance of having a family? What are you doing…?’

These questions were difficult ones to ask, because Erwin had no idea what he really felt. He had never felt quite like he did with Levi before, which was a good thing. It was a breath of fresh air. It wasn’t like anything else he had had with any of his past lovers. But, was that love? Was it possible to love, when he wasn’t even sure of his sexuality? Was Levi simply messing around until something more permanent was coming on? It was hard to say. It was so hard, Erwin had never had to really analyse his feelings so deeply before. He had no clue what he wanted, what he was doing, where he was going.

‘I need to talk to Levi about this…find out how he’s feeling…’ 

It was over his third cup of coffee that Erwin made up his mind. He would ask Levi his feelings. If Levi had any hint of uncertainty, Erwin would have to cut it off. It would hurt, it sure would ache, but it would be for the better. If Levi showed signs of wanting to be with Erwin for the long term, then he’d...well. Would he marry him? 

‘Again...more uncertainty...why can’t I just make a resolution? I need to stick to things harder.’

_________________________________________________________________________

Stepping outside into the August evening, it was already starting to get somewhat dark, the clouds gathering up together to hide away the sun as it sifted itself downwards, letting room for the moon to pop up in a few hours. Two of Erwin’s coworkers were also leaving at the same time, and they walked together down the several steps out onto the empty street.

“I never see you leave early. Are you going on vacation with your girlfriend tonight?” one of them asked.

Erwin nervously buttoned up his coat top button and scratched the back of his head, not replying. As they stood just outside the steps of the office building, they gave each other a small professional bow.

“I hope you enjoy your vacation. When you come back, do you think we’ll get a wedding invite?” Erwin’s female coworker smiled, cocking her head to the side.

“Wh-what? Wedding invites? What makes everyone think I’m getting married?” 

His coworkers laughed. “Well, you’ve got that typical love struck look in your eye, and you’re taking time off for the first time in forever. Everyone on the 7th floor has a theory you’re going to go visit your girlfriends parents and ask them permission to marry her.” 

Erwin thought about it for a second. If he were to marry Levi, he wouldn’t need to do any of that. After all, Levi had been estranged from his family for a long, long time. 

“Well - you know, I’ve not even confirmed I have a girlfriend. What makes everyone so sure I even have one?” 

Both coworkers simultaneously took a finger and touched the same spot on their necks, making Erwin instinctively touching his own.

“Huh?”

“You’ve got a love bite there, Erwin.” 

With a strong blush rushing to his cheeks and ears, Erwin moved his coat collar over to hide it. He had no idea it was there, as he hadn’t really been checking himself in the mirror as much as he used to. Come to think of it, he hadn’t really been paying attention to much these days. His head was all up in the clouds.

“You’re daydreaming so much, you didn’t even realise you had one?” 

Just as a brush of wind blew past, bringing with it a few autumn leaves, his female coworker turned around, her eyes fixating on something in the distance. 

“Well, you know...I’ve just been, going through some things. I don’t have a girlfriend though...really, so… you guys shouldn’t be theorising so much…” 

As Erwin and his male coworker chatted, his female coworker was seemingly staring off into the distance, becoming more and more detached from the conversation.

“So you don’t have a girlfriend at all? So there’s no wedding?” the other man asked.

Rubbing his sweating hands against the back of his coat, Erwin’s knees began to wriggle together, his face turning to the side to avoid eye contact.

“I - well! I don’t have a girlfriend but - you know!”

There was silence as his coworker waited on more information.

“ - uh, well, you know! I don’t know what the uh, future holds! Maybe I’ll get married one day, but - yeah, no girlfriend right now - none whatsoever.” 

His coworker looked a little disappointed. It was clear the rumour of Erwin’s new relationship was keeping the 7th floor employees all excited and gave them something to talk about throughout the busy months of overtime and meetings. 

“So you’re totally single. Do you think he’s lying Petra?”

There was no reply. Petra, Erwin’s female coworker, was staring off somewhere.

“Petra? What you looking at?”

After a jab to the side, Petra finally turned her head back around, waving her hand in an apology.

“Sorry sorry! I was just staring into space.” 

Analysing her face, Erwin’s other coworker looked over at what Petra was looking at, grinning. 

“You sure you weren’t staring at that guy over there Petra?” 

Blushing and smacking him over the head, Petra shook her head. 

Looking over to his right, Erwin’s eyes widened as a smile finally appeared on his face after a day full of glum frowns and confused pouts. 

Levi was standing there, leaning against his car, looking like he had just stepped out of some old time fashion magazine. Even Erwin, who wasn’t really much interested in clothes, could tell Levi had specifically taken a great deal of care choosing that evenings outfit. The tartan cuffed pants, the thick warm sweater, the long black woolen coat. He looked so handsome as he just stood there, mindlessly scrolling on his phone. He was waiting for Erwin to come out of work and begin the long drive to get to their vacation spot.

“He’s pretty handsome,” Erwin’s male coworker mumbled.

All three of them looked over. With all eyes on him, Levi looked up innocently and slightly irritated. His eyes fixating on his boyfriend, he raised a hand and gave a nonchalaunt wave, and then went back to looking at his phone.

“Shit guys, it’s rude to stare!” Petra said, punching both men on their arms. 

‘That’s my boyfriend,’ Erwin wanted to say. ‘That’s the guy I’m going on vacation with, and I’m considering marrying him. If there’s a wedding invite, it’ll be for me and his wedding.’ 

Tightening his fist, Erwin bit his tongue. 

Indeed, he wanted to tell them that. He wanted to tell them he was dating a guy, and for them to back tomorrow morning to work and tell the whole 7th floor that Erwin, the guy who had been their manager for years now, was in love with a man. To tell them it was that short, good looking guy standing over by the car that gave him that love bite on his neck, and that Erwin had given his own fare share of bites and marks to the other. 

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t, not now. The terrifying ordeal of being known was holding him back. He couldn’t let anyone know. Not right there. Not after he confirmed with Levi, and himself. He needed time. 

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t mind people staring,” Erwin smiled, recalling the many times people had pointed Levi out in public. He seemed to be popular with girls, despite his short stature. 

“Do you know him?” Petra asked, her face brightening up.

Nodding, Erwin stepped off the curb and onto the road. 

“Yes, I do. He’s picking me up, so I shouldn’t keep him waiting. I’ll see you both on Wednesday when I’m back. Have a good weekend.” 

With that, Erwin bowed once more, his coworkers bowed back, watching him as he and the mysterious good looking guy got in the car. 

As Erwin strapped himself in, he removed his tie and unbuttoned his shirt buttons. Levi hated when he did that. It was such a normal and usual thing to do after a day of work, but the way Erwin did it, the sigh he let out, the curve of his cleavage, it seemed far too sexual for Levi. 

“Thanks for picking me up. Sorry for the staring, my coworkers thought you were attractive,” Erwin said, leaning over and putting his business bag in the backseat, next to the travel bag that was already in the car.

Clicking his tongue to hide back a smile, Levi placed one hand on the wheel, and one hand on Erwin’s thigh.

“Is that so? Do you think so too?” His head leaned against the window, giving a curious glance over at his boyfriend. The way he smiled ever so slightly communicated to Erwin that he was in a very good mood. He seemed to be pretty pumped for their vacation too.

Placing a hand on top of the smaller one resting on his thigh, Erwin lay his head against the car seat, looking straight back up at those endearingly tired, lost looking eyes.

“I sure do. But I get to see all the good looking parts of you, not just your face.” 

Tutting and letting a hint of a smile creep on his face, Levi turned the keys in the ignition and switched gears. 

“Let’s save the cheesy shit for later, yeah? We’ve got a long drive ahead. Should get there for about 9 if traffic isn’t a pain.”

Sighing and resting his body against the seat, Erwin closed his eyes, his thumb rubbing at the fingers on his leg. 

“Sure. Are there stop off places on the way there?”

“You’re a guy. Just unzip and take a leak outside.”

Erwin cleared his throat, wincing.

“Levi! You’re so crude!”

Pulling out of the parking space, Levi turned his head back to check if there was anything coming up behind him.

“It’s the fucking truth. You don’t need a toilet! You’re too much of a prude.”

“Oh yeah? And where will I wash my hands? I'll be the one calling you a prude when you're complaining about my 'germy hands' touching you after I just took a slash in someones backyard!"

Levi picked up the hand sanitizer and tossed it onto Erwin’s lap.

“Best believe I brought enough soap and wipes. You’ll be using that before you touch me with your germy hands,” Levi laughed, getting onto the road and placing his phone with the directions on the phone stand. The google maps lady began to direct him to drive straight. 

Just as they began their journey, Erwin’s coworkers looked back, giving a last wave to the car. Before they turned their backs and made their own way home, they caught a glimpse of Erwin reaching over, placing a kiss on the man who was driving’s cheek.

“I...I have a feeling we weren’t meant to see that…” Petra said, her voice filled with hints of shock and confusion.

“Yeah...I think so too…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you for your comments on the last chapter <3 I wasn't happy with it, but I am much more confident with this chapter now. I wrote it out pretty fast as I've got nothing else to do today. Yesterday, I got my tongue and nipple pierced so I'm just sitting in bed in pain listening to Naruto OPs and writing this out. I really need to write a Naruto fic, but the Naruto fandom is so...scary lmao. At least on tumblr. 
> 
> While I was writing this chapter, I came across a song that really really encapsulates the type of feeling I have with this story. It's Cold Cold Man by Saint Motel. You guys should have a listen. It's a really good song.
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoy this fic guys <3 
> 
> I'll see you in the next one! It'll be a nice onsen chapter :) What could go wrong there? :) :) :)
> 
> Also, to anyone asking for more chapters - lol, you're gonna get them my dudes. I'm gonna make this fic around 13 - 15 chapters, and I usually pump a chapter out in a week, so don't worry! You'll get more ^-^


	6. Vacation Part 1

“I’m very sorry for the confusion!” The owner of the inn said, bowing politely. 

Erwin and Levi stood in the entrance way, totally exhausted from the long drive up there. The place they were staying in was known for having some of the best natural hot springs in the country, and had won multiple awards for the service they provided, but the woman at the front desk seemed to be rather flustered. The circles under Levi’s eyes were deeper than usual, as he had driven the entire way there, and Erwin’s arms were becoming numb with the three bags he was made to carry from the car all the way up the fifty or so steps to the entrance, making them both rather exhausted and not in the mood for any fuss. The reception area was rather quiet, with most of the guests either in their private baths or in bed, and it appeared they got there just in time to check in.

“What’s the problem?” Erwin asked, rolling his neck to give it a crack.

The old lady rang the bell for an assistant to come. She seemed rather mystified as her eyes glanced over the register.

“We thought you made a reservation for a couples room, so we arranged a double futon... I’ll have someone make two separate beds there right now. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.” She bowed once again.

Blushing and staring up at the ceiling to avoid eye contact, Erwin gulped down. 

‘Shit...this is so embarrassing. Should we tell her the couples room is fine…? But then she’ll know...or if she gives us two beds then we won’t be able to sleep together...I suppose we could move them side by side…’

“We are a couple,” Levi said, his voice as normal and calm as ever. 

“The double bed will be fine, no need to change it,” he said confidently, placing his passport on the table in front of the lady. “Erwin, give me your ID.” 

As the old lady realised what Levi had said, Erwin bashfully placed the bags down and searched his wallet for his drivers license, which Levi took without looking with two fingers and placed it on top of his passport. 

“R-right! I see,” the lady said, her level of eye contact drastically decreasing as she went about scanning their IDs. Erwin noticed that kind of thing. The uncomfortable looks that some people gave if there was a hint that the two of them were together. 

‘How embarrassing…Now she knows we’re together...what will she think of us? Will she think it’s dirty…? Will she give us bad service because of it?’ 

As Erwin began to worry and fret, his fingers tightening around the handle straps of their travel cases which he had picked up once again, Levi was half way through following the lady to their rooms.

“Oi! Erwin, what are you doing just standing there?” 

Hearing his lover calling out to him, Erwin snapped out of his sweaty concerning, and trotted in pursuit, following both the receptionist and Levi into their room. All of the bother that was lingering around him immediately vanished as they got into their room however. It was his first time ever going on a vacation, and being so far away from home, staying in this kind of place was...refreshing. 

The room itself was rather spacious, with a large futon in the centre, the windows showcasing the private outdoor bath and clear, dreamy night sky. A deep smell of scented wood lay softly in the air, making Erwin feel rather heavy with sleepiness, mixed with the darkness of the room as Levi hadn’t switched on the light, it made him want to curl up into the blankets and rest.

While Levi listened to the receptionist explain the rules surrounding the outdoor bath, Erwin sat himself down on the futon. It was considerably plumper than he had imagined. He watched their interaction, and noticed the lack of eye contact from the woman. It was obvious she felt...some level of discomfort, however Levi didn’t seem at all bothered. He simply nodded, asking questions as he leaned against the wall, tossing the room key in his hand. 

When the woman had gone and the door was closed, Levi simply began to unpack his travel bag. Removing his clothes and placing them in the drawers, lining up his various lotions, creams and moisturisers on the dresser, and taking a look at the towels in the cupboard. This kind of behaviour was a given for Levi, Erwin guessed. Of course he was going to unpack everything perfectly, and line up all his toiletries front facing, and inspect the towels that they would use. But Erwin was rather amazed at how Levi hadn’t picked up on the awkwardness from the woman, and how unfazed he was.

“Didn’t you think it was strange?” He ventured an ask.

Looking up from the towels, Levi looked confused.

“Huh? What was?”

“The woman. She completely changed when you told her we were a couple.” 

A small smirk forming on his lips, Levi put the towels back down and walked over to the sliding door which led to the outdoor bath. He took a little look at the steam coming up from the water, mixing with the darkness of the sky, clouding the view of the various rocks surrounding it. 

“I did notice it, but it’s not like I care. This kind of thing happens a lot. As long as you date me, you’ll get that kind of reaction,” he said confidently, removing his sweater. The way he spoke hinted at a lifetime of that kind of treatment, and his complete disregard for it. 

“You’re a lot stronger than me. I feel…” Erwin trailed off a little. 

‘Do I have the right to say it upsets me? I’ve chosen this kind of life and discrimination, surely? Levi can’t help it.’ 

“You feel…?” Levi opened up the window. 

Erwin’s hands moved down to fidget with his toes, pulling his socks off. 

“I feel...angry. Pissed off? Sad, maybe? When people get uncomfortable. I kind of want to shake them and ask them what there is to be uncomfortable about, but I end up-” he took a deep breath in. Deep down, he felt he didn’t have the right to complain. What good was it if he said these things, when Levi probably felt the same way? Levi was a grown man - he didn’t need to go over the same thing again and again. 

“Oh? It’s impressive you thought this much about it,” Levi said, stretching his arms behind his head. “In all seriousness though, it doesn’t matter Erwin. Some people feel uncomfortable, most people don’t. If they feel weird about it, I’m not going to tell them how to feel. Instead, I just ignore it. You should too. It’ll be easier that way.” 

While he opened up the door to the bath, the click of his belt and the zip of his pants could be heard. Erwin looked up, watching from behind as his boyfriend slipped out of his clothing, and stood naked in the doorway. It was a strange concoction of views; the muscles in his back shading to black in the soft darkness of the room, the light from the outdoor bath, the steam from the heat of the water wafting inside. 

“Let’s take a bath. I’m so tired from driving all the way up here.” 

_________________________________________________________________________

Sinking into the water, elbows resting against the rocks behind him, and his head hung back, Erwin closed his eyes, his muscles finally becoming less and less tense with each second that fluttered by. Levi was sitting next to him, knees to his chest, as he used his hands to scoop up the water, staring down at the cloudy warmth cupped in his palms.

“How did your coworkers respond when you said you were going on vacation?” Levi asked, his voice sounding rather distant as the sounds of the water rippling around them filled the dark air around them. Erwin sat himself up, stretching over a hand and taking a few strands of the dark hair on Levi’s head between his fingers, inspecting. 

“I didn’t tell them - it was a rumour going around that I was taking a week off. There are a lot of rumours going around about me just now.” 

“Oh? Impressive. You must be popular to have rumours spread about you.”

Feeling a slight rush of redness on his cheeks, Erwin cleared his throat. He shifted where he was sitting once or twice so as to not sit on his privates. Thinking about work, he did wonder why there were so many rumours going about him. Perhaps it was because he was one of the higher ups and was generally disconnected from everyone else. The more mystery, the more rumours went around, he guessed. 

“No no, not popular. It’s just people in offices like to do that sort of thing - they have nothing better to do. They can see I’m behaving differently, and so their imaginations go a little wild.”

“You’re behaving differently?” Levi glanced up, his eyebrows twitching to show a hint of curiosity. 

Erwin gulped a little. Telling Levi that he had been slacking off would probably result in a scolding, and that was definitely not what he wanted, especially when he needed to bring up the possible conversation of the future. Erwin had been thinking about how he would begin that talk in the car ride up, and it was making him rather panicky. He eventually decided to bring it up when the time was right, but possibly not the first day they were there - after all, Levi was probably tired from the car ride and would want to sleep soon after arriving. Talking about marriage and the possibility of staying or not staying together would take a lot of energy out of the both of them.

“Well, I guess you could say that. I’ve been...how should I put it…? Slacking off a little. Not working as hard.”

Looking down, Erwin tried to gage Levi’s reaction, but as the smaller man was looking down at the water, it was hard to say.

“That’s because you’re getting old,” he mumbled under his breath, scooping up more water and letting it trickle out between his fingers.

“No - hey! I’m just as old as you are. I’m slacking off because...well, I don’t really get as excited about working as I used to.”

“You used to get excited about working?” Levi’s tone was peppered with amusement, but deep within his tone hinted at a sense of disappointment. ‘Who could be so excited about working? I’m working in my dream job, and there are days I don’t want to work,’ he thought.

Leaning his head back once again, Erwin took a good look at the sky. There were no clouds, but the small wafting of steam from the hot water outside was making it hard to see the stars that lay embedded in the canvas above. He took a deep breath in, thinking as he spoke.

“No no, well - it’s not exactly like that. When I was younger, and well - up until now, work was the only thing I had. I liked taking orders and doing what my boss told me to do. I liked being someone everyone could rely on, and I would work all the overtime they asked me to do because I thought it was making a difference. I carried the company through a lot of problems and I’d wipe up after everyone else's screw ups. That’s why I was promoted so many times.”

“Sounds like you used to suck up their ass,” Levi said, closing his eyes and resting his head against the others shoulder. Erwin’s arm was pretty solid, so it wasn’t that comfortable - but he liked to nuzzle into it as best he could. With the extra weight on his arm, Erwin pulled the other closer, keeping his hand on Levi’s chest to make sure he didn’t move. The instinct to keep his boyfriend as close as possible was rather strong, but in this situation - their first ever vacation, in that moment, it was profoundly loud in his head. 

“Well, you could say that. I was just content with working hard, and when things were being troublesome with my past relationships I’d just bury myself in more and more work to avoid the situation.”

“What a catch.”

Hearing that sent a heavy blow. Thinking back, Erwin easily felt a deep sense of regret with how he had treated those around him. Pushing them away, putting work before them - ruining friendships and relationships simply because his boss demanded more overtime or more meetings. Those people who eventually left were only ever trying to build a life with him involved, and because of work, they had to plan around him being there.

“I...yes. I feel bad, now, of course. I shouldn’t have neglected the people that were just trying to get close to me so much,” Erwin said, his voice coated in a layer of sadness. But he knew there was no point in looking back and feeling so bad about it. After all, if he hadn’t put work before those people, he would not have met Levi, and with Levi, he was not about to repeat the same mistakes.

“But what’s been changing recently? You’re just, tired of working?” 

“No, not that. I like working, I still like my job. But I don’t want to be buried with work. I want to work normally. I don’t want to work weekends and late night shifts and go on business trips, and I don’t want to spend hours of my day cleaning up after everyone.”

Hearing this, Levi was rather impressed. His first impression of Erwin was a guy who worked far too much, so much so that it put him in emotional turmoil when his girlfriends dumped him. He thought of him as a bit of a spineless man, a guy who would suck up to anyone and do whatever they say. But, for whatever reason, he was now embracing what he actually wanted and pushing out all of the unnecessary stress.

“Why the sudden change?” He ventured an ask.

Running a hand through his steam damp hair, Erwin groaned as he thought of his answer. Well, the answer for the most part was obvious - it was his desire to be closer to Levi and see him more often. Why he wanted to get closer though - it was a little more complicated than that.

“It’s probably because of you.” He came out and said it. 

‘Will he get mad I’m slacking off because of him?’

“Oh? Impressive - to think such a strong working guy could be swayed by a low life bartender,” Levi swooned, his voice rang with a gentle playfulness.

“I’m being serious! Somehow, being with you, I feel like I have something else in my life, not just work.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s hard to explain. But I feel the most comfortable with you. I don’t feel like I need to fake any part of me. I don’t need to pretend to be stronger or smarter or more or less of anything. Even if I did, you’d see right through it. And when you rely on me, it’s not because you want to gain something, like less work or more credit, but it’s because you genuinely need me. And I don’t want to throw that away just because of work. Not anymore.”

As Erwin spoke, Levi had slowly edged closer to him, stretching out his legs on top of his lovers, hooking his legs around him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. A flutter of blush appeared on his face, not only from the heat from the bath, but from the words Erwin was saying. Erwin was clearly going through a big change in his life - he was rejecting what he had known all of his life - a lifetime of hard work, morphing his world into something different to fit the new shape that Levi was creating.

“Well I...I’m pretty...honoured you’d go through that change all because of me.”

There was a silence. All that could be heard was the sound of the fresh water trickling into the already pipping hot bath, the crisp pure air hitting them in their red faces while their bodies warmed up thoroughly, muscles relaxing, all feelings of tiredness and discomfort melting away through the stillness. 

“So, you said there were a lot of rumours going around about you? What are some of them?” 

With Levi’s legs on either side of him, his butt sitting perched on his knee, Erwin’s hands instinctively run up his lovers back, his fingers tangling into the others damp black hair. He wanted to take a hold of him, press him closer, merge himself with him. In all honesty, Erwin just wanted something new. He wanted to see a new type of life or world with Levi, to fill in the little holes of his boyfriends life - to allow him to fill in his own. He wanted to be pressed into the smaller man, to see life a little differently - being with a man, living with him, sleeping with him, marrying...

“They think I’m getting married. They think my slacking off is because I’m in love with a new woman and I’ll be getting married. This vacation is, according to them, for me and her to go to her hometown and for me to ask her parents if I can marry her.”

The mention of marriage made his balls kind of sink up into each other. He certainly didn’t want to bring that conversation up until later, but if the situation asked for it, he couldn’t hide it. 

“Is that so? And are you in love?” 

Levi was clearly rather intrigued, as suggested by his arms wrapping around the back of Erwin’s neck, his legs tangling round his boyfriends waist, keeping a grip.

“With a woman?” Erwin asked, his eyes glancing up, trying to find a hint of emotion from Levi’s tired eyes, but all he could see was the cheeky kind of exhaustion that was almost permanent. With his fingers rubbing together, Levi bit his bottom lip ever so slightly, ready to pop that question. 

“With me?” 

There. The question was asked. He wasn’t sure what kind of answer he was going to get - but he thought any answer would be better than the several sleepless nights and restlessness he had felt over the course of their relationship, worrying about if Erwin really liked him or if he was just leading him on. 

‘Whatever your answer, I just need to know. If there’s any point in building my hopes up.’

Finally...that question. Erwin took a deep breath in, his fingertips addicted to rubbing at the soft hair between them.

“I…Well. It’s hard to know exactly what love is, when you’ve spent most of your days on your hands and knees begging for people you don’t love to respect you and avoiding people who love you. But, when I imagine what being in love feels like, I imagine the feeling I have for you.”

A shy grin crept up on Levi’s lips, ever so slightly, before he rested his chin on Erwin’s shoulder, his body relaxing, his legs tightening. Closing his eyes, he sunk down, letting his lover hold him - not only letting him, but commanding him to do so, by simply being there.

“That was a very long answer. You could’ve just said ‘yes.’” 

Closing his eyes, Erwin smiled to himself, encasing the smaller man in his arms, the feeling of his weight sinking onto him comforting him amidst the warmth of the bath water. 

“Perhaps I could’ve. Well, I suppose I’ll say it now - yes, I’m in love.” 

Squirming and burying his face deeper into Erwin’s neck, Levi let out a sympathetic laugh.

“That’s cheesy as all hell.”

Erwin could tell Levi’s reaction would be something like that. Although it was obvious Levi wanted to know if Erwin loved him, he would obviously not make it wildly apparent that he desperately wanted the answer to be a yes.

“And what about you? You’re not so different from the way I used to be. You’ve never told me your feelings for me, but you still meet with me every weekend, and call me on late nights when you’re feeling lonely,” Erwin ventured, his hands tenderly rubbing at the back of Levi’s head.

“I never said I felt lonely,” Levi mumbled from inside the crevice of his lovers neck.

“I can hear it in your voice when you call me. You sound like you need me.”

Indeed, it was a little embarrassing for Erwin to ask such a thing like this. To blatantly ask if Levi was in love with him was...not what he had planned for their first night of vacation.

“Well....I can get like that from time to time. Feeling like I don’t have anyone next to me. But calling you makes me feel more at peace.” Levi’s voice was somewhat muffled, the vibrations of his voice tickling the inside of Erwin’s neck. 

It was then that Erwin realised what kind of situation they were in. With his lovers body so close to his own, the temptation to run his hands all over became rather urgent - but the rarity of Levi hinting at any of his feelings was too severe, that he needed to comfort him instead. Running both hands down the milky soft skin of Levi’s back, his hands squeezed and cupped at the soft chubbiness below.

“You shouldn’t feel like you don’t have anyone next to you. I’m here with you, even if I’m not always sleeping next to you. Although…” Erwin trailed off slightly. 

‘What the fuck am I saying?’ he thought, as his hands lightly groped at his lover under the water.

“I’d really like to sleep next you more often. To see you more often, or-”

“What if you were always sleeping next to me?” Levi cut him off. The tone of his voice had changed from curious, to ever so slightly desperate - a critical offer being put on the table to which he had no control over the answer.

“As in...moving in together?”

“Sure.” He tried to sound nonshelaunt, but it was impossible. The boldness of his question which he had not planned on asking until half way through their vacation clearly shaking him up.

Planting a tender kiss on Levi’s shoulder, Erwin pushed their bodies every so slightly closer. 

“I would like that a lot...only if you answer me.”

“You never asked me a question.”

“I did. I asked you if you loved me.”

Levi coiled inwards, his legs wrapping so tightly around Erwin, his arms gripping onto his back, as if he were hanging on for his life. He was embarrassed. He felt shy. It couldn’t be helped, but this was how the conversation was going. Erwin was going to push that answer out of him.

“You never...explicitly asked me that,” he stuttered, hoping that that was going to be the end of the conversation. But, alas, of course not.

With a deep scowl crossed on his face, Erwin focused his attention on the increased heartbeat that was pressed up against his chest - Levi’s soft hairless body, clearly carrying a great deal of embarrassment and shame for his answer - was beginning to tense up.

“Well, I’ll ask you now - do you love me, Levi?”

“I…” Levi trailed off. He wondered how he was going to get out of this easily. “Well...it’s hard to say.”

“You don’t know the answer?” Erwin’s voice was coated in a thick layer of concern. He was rather genuinely upset.

“I know the answer. But it’s...hard to just, come out like that and say it.” Levi’s fingers were beginning to fidget, which was always a clear sign he was nervous. Being nervous was not something he was used to feeling - but Erwin certainly made him feel that way. The fear of their blissful bubble being burst by a sudden realisation that Erwin didn’t want whatever life he and Levi were leading - it made his hands sweat, his fingers itch to squeeze something, his dreams filled with anxiety.

“That sounds like you’re either very shy, or you want to break up with me gently.”

“I don’t want to break up with you!” With a slight splash of water, Levi’s head raised up, the redness of his face finally on show for his lover to see, the bashful frown and gleam in his eyes filling Erwin with a soft glowing feeling that he hadn’t ever experienced before.

“Well, you just don’t know how to say, ‘yes,’ right?”

Levi nodded, gently chewing at his bottom lip.

“Well then. If you love me, you can kiss me right here. If you don’t love me just now, you don’t have to kiss me,” Erwin said, removing his hand from Levi’s back and giving a light tap on his cheek.

Without much hesitation, Levi ever so gently planted a tiny kiss on his lover’s cheek.

“Thank you for answering me so honestly,” Erwin smiled. Such a small gesture spoke a great deal of Levi’s feelings - feelings he couldn’t, or wouldn’t put into words - but feelings he nevertheless wanted to express one way or another.

“Stop it with the…” Levi said, his face finding a way back into the crevice of Erwin’s neck.

“Cheesy shit?”

This situation was getting a little too much for Levi. The heat from the bath was starting to get to his head, his body still aching from that week’s work and the long drive up, their closeness, and the intimacy of their conversation. He didn’t have a lot of energy left for this type of talk - hearing Erwin’s thoughts could either ease his nerves or make them ten times worse, but he couldn’t really react well to either. He was simply tired. Physically tired, and emotionally rather a wreck. He knew he needed to check Erwin’s feelings, how did he feel about the future, how was he feeling with their time together so far? The answers were very much needed - he just wished he could handle whatever it was his lover said.

“Just...answer me. Do you want to...move in together?” Levi asked, his ears becoming red with embarrassment. This certainly was the first time he had ever asked a guy to move in with him - all of his previous relationships were never that successful enough for him to pop that kind of question so soon, but he felt that if they moved in together, Erwin would be less likely to leave. 

Running both hands up Levi’s back, Erwin’s fingers adoringly reached up and tugged at Levi’s hair. He desperately wanted to see his lovers face, but he didn’t want to push him too much. The kind of conversation they were having must have been too much for him, and so he cradled the bashful man into his neck, planting small kisses along his shoulder.

“I’d really like that. Would you like to?”

At his answer, Erwin could feel the beating of Levi’s heart increase against his chest, thumping away a lot faster than before. 

“I do,” Levi’s voice was becoming groggy with a mixture of shyness, sleepiness, and a fair bit of relief. For a moment, the two of them sat there, simply embracing. For the first time, Levi seemed rather vulnerable - he felt it in his bones, a kind of growing dependency on the other which he needn’t speak of. Erwin could feel it too, a begrudged kind of attachment Levi was showing signs of having - and it made him feel for the first time in a long time, included in something greater than a company’s use for him or a girlfriends need to marry before 35.

“Levi, were you planning on asking me to move in with you? Was this why you planned this trip?” Erwin spoke up, the grumbling of his voice shaking up the cold, quiet late evening air’s silence.

There was no reply. The answer was already obvious. 

“You’re too cute. You could’ve asked me any time, and I would’ve said yes,” Erwin mentioned, tightening his hug around his lover, the heat of their bodies matched with the hot water creating a great deal of sweat to build up on his forehead.

“Aren’t you also wanting to ask me something?” Levi sat up, his hands resting on the taller man’s shoulders, his face red with warmth and shyness, his tired and groggy eyes tinged with a hint of hunger for sex.

“Hm?”

“You were looking really nervous in the car. Like you were thinking things over in your head. I thought you just had gas, but you continued to look like that after our toilet break,” Levi said as he shifted his bottom a little farther away from Erwin’s crotch, as he was scared of an erection forming. 

Wincing, Erwin resting the back of his head on the stone behind him, closing his eyes.

“Levi! I didn’t have ‘gas’ - you’re so dirty.”

“Well? Why did you look so deep in contemplation?”

Taking a deep breath in, Erwin let out his stress through his nostrils as he breathed out. This was not the time to bring this up. He could feel Levi’s body getting hotter and heavier with sleepiness, and he could feel his own muscles and mind softly melting into the water, the grip of sleep was soon approaching.

“I was wondering how to bring this up,” he finally said, opening his eyes, giving a testing glance to the smaller man on his lap. His eyes watched the mix of water and sweat trickle down from Levi’s neck, to his collarbone, past the swollen muscles of his chest, and finally down into the water that stopped him from seeing anything further of his boyfriends glorious body.

“Bring what up?” Levi cocked his head to the side.

“Marriage.” The suddenness of the word, the singular kind of pressure that word carried, seemed to shake up the stillness of the air more than the blatant tone Erwin took with it.

“M-marriage!?” Levi blurted out, a confused and slightly alarmed look forming on his face, his eyebrows squinting, his mouth opening ever so little.

“Well! Yes. It’s been on my mind a lot.” Erwin was embarrassed. Perhaps, the way Levi reacted was a sign he thought it was too soon. His hands reached to loosen his tie around his neck, but of course, it wasn’t there, so he simply scratched his ear instead.

“Marrying...me?” Looking down at the water, Levi checked to see if the boner that was forming between his legs wasn’t visible from Erwin’s angle. The heat was really getting to his head, the closeness they had been enjoying was far too comforting, and just the word ‘marriage’ coming from Erwin’s low, tired, woozy deep voice seemed to send a tinge of excitement. 

‘Erwin wants to marry..me?’ No one had ever considered marrying him, at least, to his knowledge.

“Well, who else would I marry?” Erwin cleared his throat.

Levi was silent. His hands left Erwin’s shoulders, so he could actively give into the same old nervous habit he had with fidgeting with them. His head bent down, and he tried to avoid any eye contact. He wasn’t ready for this conversation. Dear Lord he wanted to marry Erwin. He wanted Erwin to ask him, to show him off to his family, friends, coworkers. He wanted them to have a stereotypically stupid and lavish wedding. But of course, he couldn’t tell him that. It was too shameful. 

“Is it legal for us to get married here?” Erwin asked. He wasn’t sure if Levi’s reaction was positive or not, and he felt it necessary to ask another question to gage his feelings.

“It is.” Levi didn’t look up, but the immedietness of his answer gave him a clear indication he was thinking about it.

“Well, Levi... I was thinking of how nice it would be to be able to see you everyday, and bicker as we usually do, then later in the night, sleep next to you. I’ve never contemplated marrying anyone before. But when I picture being married to you, somehow, it fills me with a kind of excitement I’ve not had before.”

Erwin was sweating buckets by this point. He was hot, nervous, and after spotting the stiffness between Levi’s legs which he had been trying to cover up, he was slightly turned on.

“We don’t need to get married to do those things though. We just agreed to move in together…” Levi tried to make his tone as polite as possible. He wanted this! He wanted marriage. It had been the only thing on his mind for the past few weeks. In all of his life, he had done little to make people proud of him. But he would feel proud to have a man like Erwin by his side. It wasn’t something he needed to show off, but he felt just this once, on this one occasion, he could hold his high, knowing he did one good thing in his life. He just didn’t want to appear too...needy? He wasn’t ready to show that.

“Yes, you’re right but…” Erwin began to speak. The way Levi was speaking, was hinting at a negative response.

“But…?” Levi finally looked up, a melancholy glint in his eyes. 

“You know, Levi. I’m not used to feeling like this. I’m shy, and I’m awkward with this romantic kind of stuff. Feeling as in love as I am...is making me feel some type of way. ”

“Like what?”

“Vulnerable.”

“Do you feel vulnerable when you’re with me?” Instinctively, Levi’s hand reached for Erwin’s cheek, coiling at the last minute, but pushing forward to give a soft and reassuring touch. 

“No - I feel in love. But the very fact I’m so attached, makes me worried. I don’t want to come off too strong to you, and I don’t feel like I’m all that worthy of you, in all honesty. After all, I can’t even do the most basic of romantic gestures.” Finally getting this off his chest, Erwin felt some sort of relief, but a growing nervousness took over his senses, worried of what Levi would say.

“To show affection in public?” Levi immediately understood what Erwin was talking about. It had been the fueling of many arguments, his refusal to tell people he was with a man, his stage fright when it came to holding hands, hugging, or even touching in restaurants, the street, or stores. It gave Levi an impression of some sort of internalised homophobia, or fear of their relationship. 

“Yes, exactly. With my ex girlfriends, it wasn’t as strong as it is now, but it was still very much present, and was part of the reason I always got broken up with.” 

There was a silence between them as they both seemed deep in contemplation. Erwin sat back, wondering what Levi would say to his offer - after all, he hadn’t really proposed. If Levi was interested in getting married, he could plan an official proposal, with the inclusion of a ring and so on. Meanwhile, Levi was busy figuring out how to answer without seeming too needy. It there was one thing he didn’t want to appear, it was needy. His habit to get clingy and show any kind of gluttony for affection had caused him many issues in the past, and it was something he tried to suppress. 

“Erwin,” Levi spoke up, pushing himself closer by tightening his legs around his lovers waist, “I’ve also been thinking...of getting married. It’s never been something I thought about before. It’s not really been something I felt was necessary or important. But with you, I really wouldn’t…” he trailed off.

“You wouldn’t…?” Erwin’s fingers reached up to ever so tenderly touch at Levi’s bottom lip. He wasn’t sure what Levi would say next, but that tired, worried, and unsteady look in his eyes were making him want to kiss.

“I wouldn’t mind marrying you. And by ‘wouldn’t mind’ I mean -”

Erwin was silent. He simply blinked straight ahead, his finger lingering around the corner of Levi’s lips, his hand placed confidently on his cheek.

“I mean...I want to,” Levi wanted to look down, the eye contact was too intense between them, but Erwin’s hand holding onto his cheek stopped him from moving.

“You want to get married?” Erwin raised an eyebrow, a cheeky grin forming on his lips.

Another kiss was planted, this time, a kiss connecting their mouths, the wetness from their bath mixing together, along with the desperation of their lip trembles. That sweet little kiss told him, ‘yes.’

“But you know, Erwin,” Levi pulled away from the kiss before it got any more passionate and he ended up fainting from the heat, “Are you sure this is what you want?” This time, his eye contact was piercing. With their forehead connecting, Levi’s hands on the back of Erwin’s head, he looked him straight in the eyes. He needed to know for certain. He needed to know if it was worth getting excited, attached, happy. His voice was rather raspy, with both his exhaustion from the warmth of the bath, and the hardness in his crotch growing.

“What do you mean?” Erwin gulped, the seriousness of Levi’s sleepy gaze 

“If you marry me, you’re going to be tied to a kind of life you’re not used to. Like the situation at the reception. People are going to look, they might whisper, they may even say something to us. You wouldn’t react well to it. And you wouldn’t be too embarrassed if your friends and coworkers knew I was your husband?” 

Erwin blinked a few times. This was all rather intense. Levi had been fairly relaxed this whole conversation, but suddenly his tone had shifted. 

“I wouldn’t be embarrassed. If you were my husband, why would I be worried? It’s something I need to work on, getting used to that kind of life. But any life with you is the kind of life that’s worth living.”

Erwin was beginning to turn red. He couldn’t believe, the, what Levi would call, ‘cheesy shit,’ coming from his mouth. He expected a scolding, but Levi’s eyes were fierce - it was clear there was no joking going to be occurring. The grip he had on the back of Erwin’s head, and the trembling of his lips, told of some great goal he had - a goal to know if this was real. If their feelings were real, if this was really going to happen.

“And what about kids?” Levi asked.

“Wha-? Kids?” Erwin stuttered. Levi was really going to go there. 

“Don’t you want kids?” His tone was a little accusational. 

“W-well…”

“If you want to have a normal marriage and a family...you shouldn’t…” the grip he had on Erwin’s hair was beginning to shake. For the first time in their relationship, Erwin sensed a weakness coming from him. Sitting there, trembling ever so slightly, Levi looked...powerless. 

Wrapping his arms tightly around the other, Erwin brought his boyfriend in closer, rocking gently side to side, bringing the other man as close as he could.

“Levi -” he began to speak. 

“If you marry me, you won’t be able to change your mind! If you marry me, and then decide a few years down the line that you want to start a family, you might have ran out of time.” Levi’s voice was beginning to shake as his hands gripped the sides of Erwin’s shoulders. He could feel the threat of tears coming on. He didn’t want to get married to then be cast away when Erwin was tired of him, when he decided he wanted a normal life.

‘Why am I being so emotional right now?’ His face buried deep within his lovers neck.

“I won’t be changing my mind. I’d have no regrets and no need to change what I want. I know what I want, and I want you. Living together, married, so that I can finally proudly live as myself,” Erwin said, his hands pushing Levi’s face into his neck to save him any embarrassment or shyness he felt, while his head bent down to kiss him on the shoulder.

Levi was silent.

“You don’t want to marry me?” Erwin asked.

“N-no I do! I do want it. I just…I don’t want to wake up one day and hear your leaving me because I’m not enough.”

“Not enough? Why wouldn’t you be enough?”

“Because everyone expects you to be a different person. The pressure might get to you. You might get up one morning and think ‘I should’ve just married a woman and had some kids, and led a normal life.” Levi’s voice was muffled in the crevice of Erwin’s neck.

“I don’t want a normal life, Levi. I want a life with you. Whether I’m gay or straight or bisexual, I’ve no clue. Whether we want to adopt kids in the future, I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. I just want to make sure I wake up each day next to you, and go to sleep beside you each night. That for me is worth a whole lot more than any ‘normal life’ any one thinks I should lead.”

Erwin could feel the climax of their conversation drawing closer. He squeezed his lover in tighter, in an attempt to squeeze out any more uncertainty that Levi had. His smaller boyfriend simply breathed in and out, his breath tickling the inside of his neck, the shaking of his lips and the weakness of his grip on his back brushing against his skin.

“So? What do you say? Will you marry me, Levi?” 

The final question asked asked. Erwin couldn’t really believe he was asking it, at this point in their vacation, but it was time. He knew it was. Whatever Levi answered, he would accept wholeheartedly. 

Sitting up, it was evident Levi was on the very edge of falling off into his emotional side, as his eyes seemed red and irritated. Opening his mouth, he realised he couldn’t say it.

“Do I have to say it...can I just…”

“Kiss?”

Levi nodded.

“You can kiss me if you want me to be your husband, Levi. I’ll accept any gesture that means we can get married.” 

Without much hesitation, their lips connected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYSSSSS this took so fucking long. it's like 7,000 words. Between my last chapter and this I had to go back home, 19 hour flight, lot of stress, and so on. I've tried writing this so many times but I can't write romantic stuff. So, I hope you enjoy it!! This was so hard to write lmao kill me
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy this. Next chapter will be up a lot sooner I promise <3 I'm also wanting to work on a mob psycho 100 fic because Reigen and Seri is like literal gods gift to the world. I also have been requested to do a Lee x Gaara fic and an Itachi x Sasuke fic if you're feeling fancy. I'll work on those two, but whatever I'm writing next, this fic will be a priority! Please enjoy!! <3


	7. Vacation Part 2

“Erwin, wait, you need to calm down first,” Levi gasped. His chest was being pressed down onto the soft futon below by a heavy hand on his back, while his legs were being readjusted and spread open. He could feel his knees shaking against the hard wood traditional flooring, and the coldness from the room touching his bare back.   
He was still wearing his house coat, but soon after it had been put on, Erwin had become too impatient with the slowness of their kissing and had taken up a faster approach. The fabric around his body was now being pushed up and held tightly together just below his neck, to allow easy access to the entrance that was on Erwin’s mind.  
Taking a deep breath in, Erwin tried to calm his thoughts down. Ever since the two had discussed such intimate details in the bath, he hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything; his head was fuzzy. He felt almost as if he had knocked down at least four or five whiskeys. It was unusual for him, but he felt so blissfully…happy? Relaxed? At ease? Perhaps he was feeling everything all at once. But for some reason, after Levi had agreed to marry him, and seeing his small muscular frame draped in the silk robe that was now pushed up to reveal his body below, Erwin could focus on nothing but the strong yearning that was now proudly protruding out of his own robe.   
Placing both hands on the plump cheeks under him, Erwin closed his eyes, his brows straining. His erection was pulsating, his chest rising with each deep breath he took.

“I’m sorry Levi…for some reason I’m just…I can’t seem to control myself…” he could hear the desperation in his voice. It cracked into a low groan as sweat trickled down his neck.   
Smirking against the sheets, Levi reached out a hand, placing it on top of the larger one that was holding his ass firmly. 

“What’s gotten into you? I’ve not seen you so domineering before.” 

Shaking his head, still with his eyes squeezed shut, Erwin let out a chuckle.

“I’ve no idea…honestly. Just, knowing that you’re going to become my wi-“, he cleared his throat quickly at his mistake, “-husband, I… seeing you all wet after the bath and… I don’t know what’s up with me. I just feel like…I want to monopolize you tonight.”  
Letting a quick smile cross over his face, Levi positioned himself to raise his ass higher into the air.

“It just sounds like you’re in love,” he said as he spread his cheeks wider. “I’ll let you monopolize me then. As long as I can do the same to you. From now on, you’re all mine, you got that?”   
Taking a deep breath in, Erwin placing the tip of his cock against the entrance below, pushing his hips ever so slightly, and letting the soft, warm insides open up around him, eating him up, and tightening around his length. 

As much as he wanted to dominate, as soon as he felt the hot constriction around him, his mind cleared, and he sensed himself melting. Hearing Levi’s gasp as his prostate was getting pressed, Erwin loosened his grip of the other, wrapping his arms around his lover’s chest, and pressing himself against his back.   
Positioning his legs wider to angle himself, he grinded his hips, allowing himself to slip out just enough before he slid back in. With his hands around Levi’s chest, he could feel the deep grunts as Levi moaned against the sheets.

“Of course, I’m all yours. No one else will have me,” Erwin whispered into Levi’s ear, before letting his lips and tongue lick and kiss and suckle on the sensitive skin around the smaller mans neck. 

Hearing such words, Levi bit down on the pillow, letting out a whimper. His own erection was now starting to leak as it bounced against the bedding. The two hadn’t been connected for very long, but he was already this excited, and the heat between them was now getting in his head.

Thrust after thrust, the sound of Erwin’s thickness slapping inside, mixed with the sounds of the two mens moans filtered through the air. Levi’s cries were becoming louder, and to stop anyone from hearing, Erwin reached up his fingers, sliding them into Levi’s mouth. Instantly, Levi’s tongue began to lick in between them, his moans becoming ever so slightly more muffled.

Still pumping inside, Erwin’s tongue stretched out to lick the edge of his lovers ear. 

“Levi…quiet down…the walls are pretty thin…someone might hear us…” 

Rolling his eyes, Levi began to suck up and down the fingers in his mouth, the same way he’d suck on the throbbing cock inside of him. 

“Don’t tell me…to qui-et down…when you’re the one ma-king me feel so…good, bast-ard!” his words were interrupted by a chesty gasp as he felt his climax coming. 

‘Damn it…he sounds so hot when he’s like this…’ Erwin thought. He couldn’t control himself any longer. He knew that in any other circumstance, he would make sure the two were quiet. They had never done this sort of thing in a place where others could hear, and this was the first. But with his pleasure almost hitting its peak, he couldn’t force being quiet any longer.

Leaning up, his hands pushed Levi down, shifting his back against the bed. Seeing the hot and flustered mess below him, was enough to just make him cum. The glazed over eyes, the red cheeks, the messy hair, the open mouth, the fingers curling around the pillow.   
Wrapping his lovers legs around him, Erwin pushed himself back inside with ease.

“Well, if you can’t keep quiet…” his thrusts became faster, and more direct, aiming for the glorious spot inside of his lover, “…then I want you to scream, and let everyone know how much pleasure I give you.” He couldn’t really comprehend what he was saying. But that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. All he was focused on now, was getting Levi to let the climax of his ecstasy spill out onto his stomach, to hear those toe curling cries, and watch his face as his gorgeous grey eyes rolled back. Then, he could finally release his own pleasure deep inside. Levi couldn’t hold back. He bit down on his lip as his toes curled and scratched at the muscles in Erwin’s back. 

“Fuck…don’t say things like that…I’m gonna…”

Feeling Levi’s ass tighten, Erwin winced. It was taking every last ounce of self-control to not cum instantly. Wrapping a hand around the smaller mans erection, which was proudly glistening with the leakage of his excitement, he began to move his wrist with the same motion as his thrusts.  
Arching his back, Levi looked down, his face brightening as his hands reached to grab on Erwin’s fingers.

“O-oi! Don’t jack me off! I’ll cum to soon…” he was now starting to pant. 

Flashing an almost sadistic smile on his face, Erwin’s other hand reached down to gently cup on Levi’s balls, which seemed like they were going to burst any moment.

“Then cum. Don’t hold back,” he said, bending down to slip his tongue inside the saliva dripping mouth below. He could feel Levi’s heart was beating faster, his thighs were shaking, his legs barely able to stay around the others waist.   
“And when you cum, I want you to call on my name. I want you to shout it so everyone will hear, so they know that I’m the only man that will give you this feeling. Only my cock can make you cum.” 

What was he saying? He could tell that in the morning, if he thought that anyone heard their activities, he would be too embarrassed to leave the room. But in the moment, that wasn’t a problem. He was a different man right there. A man concerned about one thing.  
Doing as he was told, Levi’s hands moved to touch his partners back, his fingernails scratching at the sweaty skin. As he felt his own pleasure hitting its finale, his climax pushing out and covering his stomach, filling up his belly button, he let out a lustful moan of his lovers name. Tightly wrapping his legs as hard as he could around the other, he clung onto his back as his head fell back, a few final pants as he could feel himself being filled up by Erwin’s cum.

It was a few hours later that Levi fully contemplated the events of that evening. Erwin had of course been forced to wash himself before getting into the bed, and had fallen asleep almost instantly. He lay with the heater turned up to full, the blankets up to his nose, breathing silently into his slumber.   
Levi on the other hand, couldn’t sleep. Or rather, he didn’t want to fall asleep just yet. There was only going to be one night where he could enjoy the new sensation of being proposed to. He sat down next to the open sliding door, the freezing air touching his legs, his nose red from the icy breeze. In his hands, he held a bottle of hot tea which he had got from a vending machine at reception. Luckily, no one was there. 

At his age, he hadn’t had a lot of relationships. Mostly flings, sex with men who would later reveal they already had boyfriends or girlfriends or wives. Abusive relationships, ones where things would be stollen, taken, hurt. He hadn’t imagined marriage to ever be something he would have.  
But the guy sleeping in the futon just a few feet away seemed different. He was new to this. He was awkward, and embarrassed. He wasn’t gay, and he was probably going to be shy to this new world that he had somehow stumbled into. But that was not going to stop them from making the best.   
Looking down at his hand, a tightness rose in Levi’s chest.

‘Am I going to wear a wedding ring? 

Who will I invite to the wedding?

My sister…?

My…dad…?’

The thought of what could possibly happen if his dad ever knew he was with a man, made him feel sick. 

He looked over at Erwin.

‘Who will he invite…?

Will he even be confident enough to invite people to his wedding? Is he still…embarrassed?’

There were so many questions. But they were not important. All he wanted to do was focus on that light, breezy feeling bubbling up in his stomach. 

‘I’m going to have a husband…a wedding…’

At last, tiredness was driving him crazy. He downed the rest of his tea, and crawled into the sheets next to the other man, who was sound asleep. Wrapping an arm around his chest, he buried his nose into Erwin’s neck, closing his eyes.   
Even in the last few seconds before he fell asleep, the giddiness was still swirling around in his tummy, along with a quiet and dreadful feel of unease, as the thought of breaking the news to his family, was too strong to ignore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote another chapter! I missed this pairing so much, so I had to get back to them. I hope you guys enjoy this <3 
> 
> Rest assured, I am back to writing fanfic, and I will be updating our two love birds as often as I can :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys :)
> 
> Since finishing my Eren x Levi fic, I was gonna take a break, but then when I sat down in Starbucks hoping to study, I was like "...no. I must write." So! I wrote my first chapter. I'm planning on this being only a two chapter fic, unless you guys want me to continue it, I can make it longer if you like! Just comment and let me know <3 Hope you enjoy it :) Also, I know they use euros and go to a love hotel (mainly in Japan) but...i really dont know where SnK is set, so in my head, it's a mix of Germany and Japan combined.


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